[Mom decides to call me while watching Spider-Man 3, which she has not seen]

Mom: Blah blah blah ...

Me: Blah blah blah ...

Mom: [scream]

Me: What? What happened?

Mom: Where did the beam come from?

Me: The what?

Mom: Oh my God! What's happening?

Me: Oh, the movie ... Oh! You're talking about the crane!

Mom: Oh ... so the villain is The Crane?

Me: What? Mom, no. There's no villain named the crane. It's just a malfunction.

Mom: All these people are in trouble! It's like 9/11 or something ...

Me: Errr ...

Mom: Oh, this blonde ... she's toast. And then there's this guy just taking pictures! [sarcastic] That's very sensitive. Oh ... that's Topher Grace. So he's the bad guy, right?

Me: Yeah ...

(I should really visit her more often.)
.

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