And now we come to the end of the movie … which is longer than I’d like, but what can you do?

Read more... )
This next section of the movie sucks. Well, the whole movie pretty much sucks, but this section especially. I think this is around the part where Bill O'Reilly shows up. I hate Bill O'Reilly. Bill O'Reilly looked at a kidnap victim with Stockholm syndrome and said, "Yep, looks like a homosexual juvenile delinquent to me." He's a jerk.

Sorry, that was a bit of a digression. But the next section of the movie is basically a digression from everything.

Read more... )
And now for part two, where I stop my overly-long introduction on everything I think EVER (with some restraints), and get down to the business of the movie, at least the A Christmas Carol portion.

Read more... )
"I never knew what it was to feel disgust and contempt ‘till I traveled in America." – Charles Dickens, 1842

"I have many friends in America, and feel a grateful interest in the country. To represent me as viewing it with ill-nature, animosity, or partisanship, is merely to do a very foolish thing, which is always a very easy one; and which I have disregarded for eight years, and could disregard for eighty more."
- Charles Dickens, 1850


I wasn’t going to watch this movie. It was the bad critics’ reviews that made me do it. Not because I use the supposed out-of-touchness of critics as a barometer against what I would like or anything like that. It was because they used words that said things about my hero.

Michael Moore? Nah, Charles Dickens.

Like Roger Moore from The Orlando Sentinel:
One hundred and sixty-five years after Charles Dickens called for civic reform, compassion, humanity and charity to be watchwords in human life with A Christmas Carol, Hollywood's most rabid conservatives have rallied to make An American Carol, a comedy that equates dissent with "treason," that presents Bill O'Reilly as a model of political restraint and offers us Kelsey Grammer as the ghost of General George S. Patton.

Yeah, when I think "Blood and Guts," I think Frasier.


Or like Prairie Miller from News Blaze:
Kicking off the theatrics with a thud, is Leslie Nielsen as a senile grandpa cooking up inedible burgers at a Fourth of July picnic. When his grandchildren gag on the grub and demand a story instead, Grandpa conjures up a tall tale about a pompous, obese and unpatriotic eating disorder liberal moviemaker named Michael, uh, Malone (Kevin Farley), who hates America so badly that like Scrooge at Christmastime, he wants to abolish the Fourth Of July holiday. He also wants to get famous so badly, that Malone accepts funding for his next movie from Al Qaeda. Ha ha.

If Charles Dickens isn't rolling over in his grave by now, there's more.


Makes Dickens roll in his grave? I haven’t heard that phrase since the 1998 Great Expectations movie. Intriguing ...

But what interested me more was Roger's quote. Why bring up Dickens' "civic reform, compassion, humanity and charity" in a way that implies this movie works against or betrays those principles? It’s almost as if Roger Moore feels like the movie has stolen something from American liberals by using Dickens' story structure as a loud bullhorn for hawkish American conservatism.

So, has it? Well, that's a long story.

Read more... )
quietprofanity: (Sam Weller - Gallant Rogue)
( Oct. 16th, 2008 10:02 pm)
[Poll #1280126]

ETA: Oh crap, I forgot my "Who is your favorite Scrooge?" question. Oh well, I haven't seen some of the best so I don't have a preference ... maybe it's for the best.

But Gonzo the great is the best Charles Dickens until I decide otherwise. :D

ETA 2: Fuck, I called "Airplane!" "Airport!" I'm such a dolt.
(Sorry, [livejournal.com profile] the_red_shoes, it was [livejournal.com profile] 47nite's idea.)

It's the first letter of MY name anyway, so I dig it. (I've never met a Rebecca in the media that I've really liked though, I think. It seems to be a popular name for villains and those bitchy girls who had nice nails and made fun of you in high school.)

1. Comment on this post.
2. I will give you a letter.
3. Think of 5 fictional characters whose name starts with that letter and post their names and your comments on these characters in your LJ.

See below ... I didn't expect this to be so comic-book heavy )

I ... hope all of this made some sense. I got super-loquacious, I guess.
1.) Just because she may be really cool on messageboards does not mean that Nora Roberts is suddenly good. Maybe I'm cynical because my non-SBTB forays into the romance novel world have all ended with me sick from the passive-aggressive and I sent the one Jennifer Cruise book I read off to Canada with nary a tear. But ... yeah. All it really does is make me think that Nora Roberts just has the same sort of evil doppelganger a la John Mayer where they've got great personalities but make cheesy art.

2.) The Twilight movie isn't going to sweep or even win a Razzie and I'll be surprised if it even gets a nomination. As much as reading and eviscerating the books has become an Internet phenomenon, Internet phenomenons don't often translate to meatspace. Kind of like how Snakes on a Plane was a huge thing online but didn't end up raking in much at the box office. As much as we love to yell, "CAMP CLASSIC! WHOOOOO!!!" I have a feeling most critics are going to look at this movie, call it stupid, and then call it a day like they did with Underworld and Blood and Chocolate. Critics like to sharpen their teeth on big, bloated vanity projects -- that was one of the reasons why Gigli got such a trouncing. I don't really think RPattz and KStew's bland moon-eyes are going to trigger the shark reactions here.

(Somebody tried to tell me, "But what about RPattz sparkling?" Oh, come on. As corny as it is, you could line the aisles of your local blockbuster with movies featuring bad special effects. Uwe Boll makes three when he goes to the bathroom and while he's gotten some nominations, he still has yet to win the prize.)

The Razzies tend to go for seeing huge celebrities fall and making a point out of sticking it in their faces. Look at their choices from the last eight years: I Know Who Killed Me, Basic Instinct 2, Dirty Love, Catwoman, Gigli, Swept Away, Freddy Got Fingered, and Battlefield Earth. Pretty much all of those are an example of a huge star falling flat on their faces. The two with lesser-known stars (Jenny McCartney in Dirty Love and Tom Green in Freddy Got Fingered), the stars basically get their first big chance and blow it on unfunny gross-out comedies. A lot of them are also exploitative in some way, too.

Plus, consider this: The Hottie and the Nottie starring Paris Hilton came out this year. Do you really think anyone's going to pick KStew over her?

3-10.) Ah, forget it. I just wanted to say the other two.
Considering Ebert hasn't been able to speak for two years now, this makes perfect sense.

I'm kind of glad they're moving on. Roeper and Phillips wasn't exactly entertaining enough to continue watching the show unless I was REALLY starved to hear a critic speak on a certain movie. Alas for the end of an era, though. :(
Why don't we as a society read more short stories? They're good for our short-attention span brains! And who doesn't like a story delivered quickly? When I was in college, I read comic books more than anything else because I COULD get a story in a quicker, easier fashion. My guess is that short stories are hard to talk about without giving away the ending, and also can be depressing. I'll try not to do the former and own up to the latter.

The Laws of Evening ... You should read this one, Aja. I think you'll like it. )

Interpreter of Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri )

Oh and ... by the way, I did see The Dark Knight. Without going into any spoilers, Heath Ledger was amazing, Aaron Eckhart was amazing, Christian Bale is still the best Batman. But I do hope the people who ground their teeth over Iron Man's alleged sexism (which I disagree with, but I've already explained why) don't give The Dark Knight a free pass, because I think it was worse (not The Wicker Man remake worse, mind you, but it did annoy me) and I'm surprised I haven't seen anyone complain about it yet. Maybe they're all upset over Dr. Horrible but ... [sigh]. What a shame.

Okay, okay, spoiler. I can't help it.

Read more... )

Watchmen trailer is growing on me, by the way.
1.) I've seen the Watchmen trailer. It's very, very, very beautiful ... but I can't shake this feeling that they may get the details so strongly they miss the spirit/heart of the film. I only say this the trailer was very, "WHEE! WATCH THINGS EXPLODE! WHEEE!"

Plus, my woobie* didn't get much screen time. Woe. :(

Of course, I'm seeing the movie. But ... yanno. I'm just a little skeptical now.

2.) Without knowing anything, Black Canary Barbie would have struck me more as "Biker Barbie" than "S&M Barbie." Leather jacket = biker. Boobtacular corset = S&M. Yanno?

Oh and ...

3.) No, I haven't seen Dark Knight yet. I'm a little agoraphobic now. Maybe tomorrow.





* (Hey, I admit it!)
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I'm like ... shy or something. That's why I post disgusting quotes from Naked Lunch.

Something really cool happened today QUIZNOS CAME BACK TO MY TOWN!!!!!! YAY I CAN BE FAT AND HAPPY INSTEAD OF JUST FAT! Hey, other than the local greasy spoon, which is only open from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. or something crazy like that, food in my town tends to run from "ehhh" to "crap" so I'm happy about this! :D

The stupid albatross that was Kimagure Orange Road also FINALLY fell off my neck, so I can do a future post ripping up the thing to shreds. Quick consensus: It has schizophrenia. I think people like it for nostalgia. Madoka is the only reason to watch the show; everyone else can get punched in the face.

I saw The Incredible Hulk. It wasn't great, but it didn't suck and was better than the turgid boredom pretentiousness of the first movie, so I was happy. I'm sure some comic book feminists will see things to complain about but ... I don't really have the energy to care right now.

OK, that's all I can manage now. Talk to you later.
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What the hell happened with the Prince Caspian adaption? Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe was so good. I wouldn't mind the additions and deletions to the story normally, but shit, it wasn't even ENTERTAINING. Or good movie-making. Who the hell has the cavalry come AFTER the main villain is killed?

I did like Susan the Gentle just randomly kicking ass, though. And some of the meta-commentary on some of the goofier aspects of the series, but most of it was just so boring and tedious. And was it three hours long or something? It felt like I could have just read the book again in that period of time.

What a waste of $10.
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I can't quite bring myself to write my personal essay despite the dwindling of hours in my day off, (it's nearly four p.m. as I start to write this, now) so I'll talk about RiffTrax to get the juices flowing. (I hope.)

After watching the just-OK RiffTrax for Spider-Man 3, I decided I wanted to try the RiffTrax for some other titles. I eventually ended up going with Saw and Eragon because that's what Blockbuster had available. I bought the RiffTrax, waited three days and wondered why the order was still "pending" for all that time, emailed tech support and got a nice email apology back saying that they were having issues with PayPal but everything should be OK now. It was. And I watched.

Saw & Eragon on (RiffTrax) -- SPOILERS )
Act I: Planet Terror

ME
YEAH! WOO! HOO! (spins and jumps around on one leg) Budda-budda-budda-budda-budda! WOOOOOO!!!!

Act II: Death Proof

ME
...

(ME gets sign)
(ME writes on sign, "Dialogue must 1.) Advance Plot 2.) Show Characterization")
(ME finds QUENTIN TARANTINO)

ME
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!

(ME wails on QUENTIN TARANTINO'S ass with the sign.)

UGGGGH!!!

(The End.)


I can't believe that's the same guy who made Kill Bill. Well, yes I can, it's totally his style oh God oh God what the fuck was that ... I LIKE talky movies. My favorite movies are Clerks and Twelve Angry Men and I could NOT. STAND. THAT. SHIT.
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quietprofanity: (Sabra - Pissed (or Jewish))
( May. 3rd, 2008 01:22 pm)
So, I got bored and drove around aimlessly (yes, I know the price of gas, but I also have a sipper and I don't commute ... let me have a few indulgences) and ended up going to the mall because I wanted a salad at Saladworks. (Kind of disappointing ... they put in too much lettuce.) In the Dover Mall, there's a movie theater within the food court so I was like, "There is a movie theater right here ... but if I go see Iron Man, there won't be much to do tomorrow."

Then Chris sent me an IM that said, "I'm watching Iron Man right now" and I was like, "Fuck it, I'll watch Iron Man, too."

Before I watched Iron Man, I was reading Walden and enjoying it very much. And I thought, "You know, I've been rather pissed since Marvel took a collective dump on Spider-Man, perhaps I have moved beyond this, and should be content with reading Walden and doing other intellectually-stimulating things."

Then I saw the mini-scene after the movie and at the end threw up my hands - a girl sitting in the first row - THREW UP HER HANDS IN JOY AND MAY HAVE WENT "WOO!"

Ah, the nerdy heart still beats true. I'm proud of myself.

As for the movie ... I LOVE THIS MOVIE AND I CAN NOT THINK OF ONE BAD THING TO SAY ABOUT IT.

But first, a quick trailer roundup ... there may be more than usual because the ticket-handler directed me to the wrong theater and I nearly got stuck watching the new Harold and Kumar movie:
The Dark Knight: Looks great. Love Joker. Love Harvey. LOVE GAY ALFRED. But ... Batman does not seem to be in this trailer. What's up with that?
Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian: Well, this was nothing new, but ... they seem like they're adding a lot of extra bits to this one. Still excited, though.
What Happens in Vegas: Looks like one of those movies my Mom may watch while she's doing chores. I laughed at it more than I wanted to.
The Incredible Hulk: (a.k.a. "It Won't Suck This Time, We Promise!") I actually think I'm going to miss Jennifer Connely ... she was the best part of the last movie. Ed Norton looks like he may do a good job, though. Also, I would buy the super-hardcover-ultra-rare edition of One More Day if Marvel gave me a She-Hulk movie that doesn't suck. Just putting that out there.
The Happening: ... Oy, I don't know. At least it's not a "killer bee" movie. Right? RIGHT?
The Love Guru: MIKE. STOP. TRYING. SERIOUSLY.
(edit) Speed Racer: Ow, my eyes. My eyes! The souless fake fun, oh God why MY EYES!!! At least Christina Ricci looks cute.

And now, our feature presentation )
No Country for Old Men
Read more... )

Darby O'Gill and the Little People
Read more... )

Bruce Almighty
Read more... )

2 more reviews later.
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quietprofanity: (Kagami - Books)
( Feb. 1st, 2008 12:27 pm)
People keep insisting I read/watch stuff, so I figured I'd list those assignments here.

Chris:
Parts of the New Testament (i.e. Gospels, Acts, Romans and (maybe) Revelation -- Read Hebrews instead)

Mark:
No Country for Old Men (movie)
They Live (movie)

Dad:
Moby Dick

Co-Worker:
Atlas Shrugged [loooooooooooooooong drawn out sigh]

And here's some old recommendations from people that I still have in mind.

Alejandro:
Haruhi
Gunslinger Girl
Yami to Boushi no han no Tabito
R.O.D. the TV
Ouran Host Club
Maria-sama ga Miteru OVA

Mia:
One Hundred Years of Solitude

AldenMacrae:
The Thirteenth Tale

Ragnell:
Wonder Woman: Land of the Dead

PapaJoeMambo:
1971 King Lear movie

Anthony (old boss):
The Chinatown Death Cloud Peril

Angrybee:
Jennifer Government
Only Begotten Daughter

Photoash:
Kitchen Table Wisdom/My Grandfather's Blessing
All Over But the Shoutin'

And here's just stuff from people who liked stuff that I think I'll like, too:

Ragnell:
And Her Smoke Rose Up Forever
The Dark is Rising series
Where the Girls Are
Le Morte d'Arthur

Karen Healy:
Black Widow: Homecoming
Soon I Will be Invincible
Karma Girl
The Pro

KannaOphelia:
Malory Towers
Agatha Christie novels (got "And then There Were None" on the WishList)

violetisblue (well, more like she used these as influences for the book she updates)
Little Lord Fauntleroy
Pamela (yeah, I know, I know)
The Wicker Man (movie)

What's the point of all this? Just to show I do listen, even if when I get around to a recommendation by that point my old relationship is pretty much dead. Books and movies go on forever, and all that.

Anyway, now I'm curious about 1.) What on this list do you think isn't on there that should be and 2.) Have I ever given you a recommendation (or assignment) that turned out really well?
* [livejournal.com profile] 47nite introduced me to the comedic awesome of Yahtzee Croshaw and I've been having a great time ever since. His latest review, on Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles, a game which I haven't played but I've watched others play the original games (and I also actually beat Resident Evil 2 myself -- I think it was one of the first games I beat) and when he started going on about the story and dialogue of the RE games I laughed so hard I had to watch it again because I missed half of the jokes. It's true. It's all true ... but he's funny enough I enjoy watching/listening to a review even when I haven't played it.

I also checked out his Web site ... didn't like his written reviews as much (although as a recent member of the "Yes, I actually read ALL of Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty Chronicles" guild I salute him). But I downloaded his 5 Days a Stranger game. Only a day in but it managed to actually scare me even with the primitive graphics. I'll be playing more soon ... maybe tomorrow night.

* J.R. Fettinger's life seems to be stable yet again and so Spidey Kicks Butt is now updating again on a consistent basis, w00t! I'm still pissed over OMD, but at least he makes stuff fun.

* The quality of Homestar Runner sometimes seems to vacillate between "kind of all right" to "pretty good" these days. But I do miss consistent "fucking awesome." Luckily, fucking awesome came back this week. Also, thank you last year's email for making fun of that stupid "Oranjella and Lemonjella" urban legend. (Although I remember them being an actual names on that TV show Detention - whatever.)

* Um ... running out of entries on this journal theme. I did, however, get rid of a book I had on Bookmooch for over a year -- something I really didn't like and wanted to get rid of so I'm happy about it. :-D Shortpacked! has also been pretty amusing, so long as I don't expect too much of it.

One person I regularly read who HAS been seriously disappointing me is James Berardinelli. He's started up ReelThoughts and reviewing older movies on a consistent basis, which is bad. But his Sweeney Todd review where he stated that musical "Was far from Sondheim's best work" and then later said, "Well, I haven't actually listened to the original cast recording or seen it was really, really stupid. Ditto on saying "If Katie Holmes is going to act this crappily, she should concentrate on staying home and taking care of Suri." [sigh] Even giving him the benefit of the doubt that he was judging her acting ability with wanting to make a topical reference and not trying to be sexist doesn't excuse that ... well, it kind of is. Really.

* Speaking of dear Katie, or rather her crazy husband, the wank communities have been finding some awesome stuff lately, especially regarding this Web War with Scientology. Watching Message to Scientology while [livejournal.com profile] cyberweasel was visiting was kind of a surreal feeling. I felt like I was in one of those movies where the hacker is making his grand announcement to the Internet and to illustrate that, the director cuts to scenes of half-dressed people in messy apartments staring in awe at the screen.

Also, the weirdest thing happened when we were watching The Un-Funny Truth About Scientology (with the creepy music turned down). I actually was watching and for no reason lost my equilibrium and felt like the room was spinning. Very creepy.

In less scary news, Check out this returned vintage wank. Glad I never got into The Doors.
Old Movies (16)
Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? :)
Rush Hour :)
Bruce Almighty :(
Darby O'Gill and the Little People :)
Luther :(
Thank You for Smoking :)
Soultaker (MST3K version) alone - :/ MST3K - :)
Grindhouse: Planet Terror :)
Grindhouse: Death Proof :(
Eragon :(
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly :)
Teeth :)
Persepolis :)
Much Ado About Nothing :)
Little Children :)
The Man Who Knew Too Much (1934) :)

New Movies (14)
No Country for Old Men :)
Iron Man :)
Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian :(
The Incredible Hulk :)
The Dark Night :)
Mamma Mia! :/
Wall-E :)
Brick Lane :)
When Did You Last See Your Father? :)
Gonzo: The Life of Hunter S. Thompson :)
An American Carol :(
Zack and Miri Make a Porno :)
Twilight :)
Slumdog Millionaire :)

RiffTrax (4)
Spider-Man 3 :/
Saw :/
Eragon :)
Jurassic Park :/

TV Shows/Seasons in total (5)
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzimiya :)
Ouran Host Club :)
R.O.D. the TV :/
Yami to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito :(
Hellsing :/

TV Shows/Seasons Finished (4)
Otome wa Boku Ni Koishiteru :)
Gunslinger Girl :/
Kimagure Orange Road :(
Lucky Star :)
So maybe I ought to talk about my life for once.

Good news: I have a new apartment now. Location is about 200% more optimal for job-wise ... less so for the new crew I have been attempting to join (and met with once), but I'll deal. It's a super-cute place above a business (not a restaurant, I'm not suicidal) ... it's the kind of apartment that wants, like, beaded hang-y things on the walls and not my nerd posters. Maybe I'll find some kind of compromise.

I've made a stab at packing ... so far I've just got books and DVDs ... I might try to go through clothes tonight. It would be a good time to dry clean some stuff that's never been cleaned, like, ever. I wish I could bring some stuff back to New Jersey I don't need anymore, but oh well.

Work is ... okay. Some stories are keeping me busy and head-desking. I think I'm getting better. But I could improve ...

Oh, and I write a column, now. Cool, huh? So far I've only written two entries, but I already have an approved idea for a third. So that's good.

Um ... my grandmother's wedding ended up being the extreme in anti-fun. But she and her now-husband seem very happy, so that's what's important.

And ... wow, I guess that's all I really have to say. Except that I'm kind of having trouble finding times to do things I really SHOULD be doing. I need a doctor or two ... I haven't found one yet. I also never got my car CD fix. I can't find any place that specializes in this ... it really sucks. :-(

Other than that, I read the original The 101 Dalmatians book this weekend. I liked it, but I kept comparing it to the animated film. (I really couldn't stand the live action version.)

Spoilers )

By the way, if you really want your mind blown, watch this: it's like that re-cut Shining trailer and yet it is REAL.
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