But I think I need to see more Woody Allen films ...

This has been my life for the past two years. Except the actual attempts to kill myself part:

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Anyway, sorry about the bit of bizzaro-ness from me lately. I think I'm better now. Well, kind of. I've been thinking.

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quietprofanity: (Konata - Twincest)
( Feb. 25th, 2008 10:16 pm)
I had some issues earlier today, but I feel a bit better now. Friday and Monday were really sucky days at work. I just hope everything isn't going to crap out on me.

Oh well. The weekend was good.

My weekend )

We also had a nice little get together with the family. There were bagels and lox. Yum yum. We got to go around the lake and see the ducks and geese. Quack quack. :-P

I think I actually might try to go to bed at a reasonable hour tonight. Let's see how this works. At least I don't feel awful-ass sick like I did anymore.
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I am on Internet in my new apartment! Wooo!!!! Oh, precious cable ...

I celebrated the occasion by changing my userinfo. I was going through a bit of a self-introspective hermitage phase when I wrote it. But now that's over. It's been a rough year. A good chunk of it my doing; a good chunk of it not. My perspective on things have changed a bit; I hope for the better. I haven't learned much this year ... except perhaps I'll never understand people ... or businesses ... or much of anything. But what is the end of youth but realizing that you don't know shit?

I was very sad. And I'm still very, very tired. (Actually, my boss suggested today that I should take a vacation; she said I've been low-energy lately. I haven't been feeling physically well, but she may be right.) But a few things have happened, and the sky overall looks brighter.That doesn't mean I'll never be sad. I have too many health issues to worry about for that. (Go away, evil TSV!!! And what the fuck is wrong with my back?) But I'm much happier than I once was, and plan to get even better.

By the way: Aja, thank you VERY MUCH for that card. I got it yesterday and it was incredibly sweet. :-) Oh, and the gift certificate was cool, too.

I have a few things to say about different things I'm watching and thinking ... but I think for a change I'll give it a rest. And bask in the joy that is Internet. ^_^
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- Learned that Normie is still alive ... Liz Osborn apparently divorced Harry and took the son with her. What's this world coming to? Anyway, I don't feel like doing the fanfic now. I'm sorry, guys. :-( That was my big driving point, and part of the fun of fanfic is trying to fix things within the "rules" but by now it's kind of like playing that game in A Separate Peace.

Dan Slott looks like he's making lemons into tasty lemonade. Lots of people want to drink but ... eh, I'm still annoyed. I feel like Annie Wilkes being unable to get over Rocketman. (Except I don't have an urge to chop Joe Quesada's foot off. No, really. I don't. I don't lack that much perspective.)

- Also got an idea for LoEG in anime times ... Eva can be demi-Lovecraft Gods wrapped up in armor and that's why Shinji and Asuka are crazy. Lupin III and Cutey Honey can pursue Allan and Mina. Eastasia was Japan lying, saying they won the war and they send the kids on an island to kill each other. The world looks like Tokyo-3 and everyone has a persocom. Also jokes about why the country can't manage to kill a giant lizard.

But then it kind of felt like too much work ... and kind of corny. And I can ape anarchist themes but I don't think I can really turn the medium on its head the way it deserves to be turned. Oh well.

- Why do I want to ape anarchist themes, anyway? I'm not much of an anarchist. I don't really think I have much of a unique worldview. Other than, like, the world has internal rot. But not in this Don DeLillo sense where evil suburban commercialism has sucked the life out of us. Just because your neighbor might attack your kid doesn't mean the fun birthday party you shared with your other neighbor doesn't have any meaning ... if you catch my drift.

- This last weekend was my own personal Shakespeare weekend. I watched my four-hour Ken Branagh Hamlet, and then the commentary, and then the documentaries, and then the previews (Olivier's Othello make-up makes him look puke green or purple ... not very black), and then I read about half of King Lear. It made me a little crazy, I think. But I'm having fun.

- Dad bought the dogs over to visit. It wasn't as disastrous as I expected.

- Dear Romance Novel Community: The Smart Bitches and Nora Roberts' hardball line on plagiarism has made me respect the romance novel community far more than this bleating about being nice does. That Mrs. Giggles is saying this really makes me boggle.

- I HAVE ONLY 40 UNREAD BOOKS! YAY! YAY! YAY! :D :D :D

- Oh, I like ... have a pet now. He's a fish named Reggie and since he's a beta he hates me. But I haven't managed to kill him yet, so that's a good sign. This was all my Dad's idea; since we as humans eat fish (I actually ate fish TODAY) keeping others as pets shows a sign of outright lunacy as a species. But oh well.
Still without Internet. :-( Been playing Ace Attorney 2 ([sigh] Have to get used to that new series name ...) Second case very hard, but getting used to the psyche-lockes. Nearly every lawyer pings my admittedly-faulty gaydar. Except maybe Franziska. She'll ping it after she gets over being still-emotionally 13 with her "I'm imitating Daddy!" followed by tantrums. I still like her, though. And I still don't like Maya very much. Don't hate her but ... don't much care for her. Ema I liked a little better, though.

Read Angela's Ashes ... it's one of those books I want to use to beat over the head of people who are like, "Women were happier when they had limited economic options!" The other one is The Prize-Winner of Defiance, Ohio. Lovely writing, anyway. Will read the second and possibly third.

Read Left Hand of Darkness. See why people think it's boring. Hate to be Colbert, but all head, little heart. Except for a bit at the end. Good worldbuilding. Good man vs. nature story. Deserves acclaim. Probably better than Russ. Still worth time.

Read Black Dossier. Climax weird. Gollywog use questionable. Otherwise extreme awesome. Collecting all (well, most) books referenced for reading. Made me happier than anything.

Finished Slayers Try. Was okay. Too much infodumping. Like characters.

Half-way through Noir. It is good. I keep getting bored.

Apartment: Mouse shit pile on chips ahoy box. Breadstuffs now in fridge. Bed has proper bedding except dust ruffle thingie. Hot water fixed. Leaky ceiling not fixed. Watching Evening Harder repeatedly as I do chores. Kevin Smith: Sold Out must come out or QP go crazy.

Still infected. Reduced sugar intake. Realized addicted. Only eating half-cookies now. Getting better.

Need more yogurt. Don't feel much like eating. Web sites say don't eat bread. Or cheese. Or mushrooms. Or fruit. Or drink milk. Or tea. Or soda. Or fruit juice. Wish they just said "drink only water." Much simpler.

Don't feel much like exercising. Don't feel much like doing anything. Must save Maya or Japanifornia legal system will kill her.

Dad has gift. Mom has gift, but the cover is missing. Smite.

Everything a half-hour away in new place. Lame.

Like laundromat. Drying take 30 minutes. All other times hour. Hurrah!

Okay, bye.
So maybe I ought to talk about my life for once.

Good news: I have a new apartment now. Location is about 200% more optimal for job-wise ... less so for the new crew I have been attempting to join (and met with once), but I'll deal. It's a super-cute place above a business (not a restaurant, I'm not suicidal) ... it's the kind of apartment that wants, like, beaded hang-y things on the walls and not my nerd posters. Maybe I'll find some kind of compromise.

I've made a stab at packing ... so far I've just got books and DVDs ... I might try to go through clothes tonight. It would be a good time to dry clean some stuff that's never been cleaned, like, ever. I wish I could bring some stuff back to New Jersey I don't need anymore, but oh well.

Work is ... okay. Some stories are keeping me busy and head-desking. I think I'm getting better. But I could improve ...

Oh, and I write a column, now. Cool, huh? So far I've only written two entries, but I already have an approved idea for a third. So that's good.

Um ... my grandmother's wedding ended up being the extreme in anti-fun. But she and her now-husband seem very happy, so that's what's important.

And ... wow, I guess that's all I really have to say. Except that I'm kind of having trouble finding times to do things I really SHOULD be doing. I need a doctor or two ... I haven't found one yet. I also never got my car CD fix. I can't find any place that specializes in this ... it really sucks. :-(

Other than that, I read the original The 101 Dalmatians book this weekend. I liked it, but I kept comparing it to the animated film. (I really couldn't stand the live action version.)

Spoilers )

By the way, if you really want your mind blown, watch this: it's like that re-cut Shining trailer and yet it is REAL.
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[Finishes something ...]

YAY! Now that's only ... er, 70 books and 50 DVDs to go before I can buy whatever I want and ... er ... :-(

Oh well, with everything going on, it's probably better this way. I'm getting into that horrible habit where I just don't look at my finances because I'm afraid of them. :-X This car titling and plus I have to fix my car CD to retrieve the library CD caught in there. (My hypothesis is the book in question, Darkly Dreaming Dexter, was hearing how much I hated it and destroyed my CD player in revenge.)

I'm cheerful despite all this. Since I learned that I was losing my apartment during the Days of Awe, I thought that may have meant another crappy year, but I woke up on Yom Kippur morning feeling calm ... I think I paid my time.

I still feel a little stupid talking about religion, especially this way. A part of me wants to ask myself, "Is this belief or superstition?" Especially as, the more I read the Bible the more I become convinced that it was written by flawed human beings with often ugly prejudices. Still, I feel a belief in God.

One thing I learned, though. I remember my Mom once told me that she didn't really like being too happy, as that made for a major fall, and it was better to stick to a medium. I don't believe that anymore. Total sadness is too hard (although not impossible) to crawl out of, that I'd rather enjoy the extremely happy parts of my life to the fullest.

Besides, as I get older, I'm finding there's a lot, lot more things in the world that make me sick (sexism, anti-Semetism, racism, homophobia, etc.). There's got to be some ways to handle them all without going insane.
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