quietprofanity: (Pip is a Zombie)
( Nov. 26th, 2008 05:06 pm)
Read more... )

[Poll #1304866]

Yeah, I may be wanting to start a playlist ...
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quietprofanity: (Smeyer Can't Read)
( Aug. 11th, 2008 10:51 pm)
Self: [plays creepy love song again] Hei ... hei ... hei ... hei ...
Conscience: What the fuck are you doing?
Self: Thinking about the not-fanvideo I'm going to do.
Conscience: Oh, come ON.
Self: What? It's a great idea.
Conscience: You are NOT going to do a Breaking Dawn fanvideo to "Heirate Mich" by Rammstein
Self: But I MIGHT!
Conscience: No, you don't make fanvideos, and you can't make one for a movie that isn't even out yet.
Self: But it'll bring LOLS!!!!
Conscience: Yooooooou!!!!
Self: ... Why do you sound like cyberweasel?

(... hei, hei, hei, hei ...)

My pedestrian fantasies are more comfortable than doing work ... [looks at pile of unopened mail] That shit kind of scares me ... [listens to the song again] Ah, necrophilia ...
I went to Borders on a mission to get Touch Me, I'm Sick: The 52 Creepiest Love Songs You've Ever Heard. But despite the Inventory Search saying "Yes, we have it" a few days ago, someone must have bought it in between that time, so it was gone. And now I am sad.

Yeah, I know it's goofy to get bummed out because I missed the chance to buy a bathroom book but his FIRST bathroom book, I Hate Myself and Want to Die: The 52 Most Depressing Songs You've Ever Heard, was awesome and I regularly read it to friends and family and at some points even had people read it to ME when I was feeling under the weather. I looked for reviews for TMIS. Amazon reviews are all happy. Professional reviewers are happy. The blog reviews ... weren't. Then again, only one of them -- by a girl who adored the first book -- really felt like it had merit. The other two were like, "Oh, he's just a smug VH1 commentator," which I don't think he is, and "He said Tori Amos uses lyrics with too many references to hearts and butterflies. This is clearly thinly-veiled misogyny!" and ... um ... right. @_@

Now, despite my love for IHM&WTD, I have never actually listened to all the songs he listed straight through. This is because super-depressing songs have HUGELY bad affects on me. Listening to them for free while watching their YouTube videos is worse. Metallica's "One" isn't so bad when you're playing it on Gutiar Hero III. But I watched the video (OH GOD, DON'T CLICK!) and I felt bad for the rest of the day. I have heard quite a few by now (once I listened to clips of a lot of the songs), but generally I've tried to avoid them.

But I thought to myself, "Well, creepy love songs CAN'T be as bad as depressing songs. Why don't you find out about the songs before you read the book?"

[Six songs about stalkers and abusers later]

"Guh ... guh ... guh ... AAAAAARGH!!!"

I MEAN, WHAT THE FUCK?

OH GOD, I've never been in an abusive relationship and I think I've still been triggered.

Are they fucking crazy? Dude, I listened to Clay Aiken's "Invisible" after that and it felt like a palette cleanser.

Not even The Beatles are Safe! OH JOHN RINGO (GEORGE PAUL) NO!

... Okay, I kind of just wanted to make that joke.

Also, just as a general comment. I made a decision a long time ago that I don't like Eminem and I'd rather just ignore the guy. But Reynolds put Stan on the "creepy stalker song" list. I didn't hate it as much as I expected I would, but I kept hoping it would turn into "Thank You" by Dido, which was weird because I still haven't forgiven her since my dad's boyfriends parents played "White Flag" on repeat up and back from Vermont.

I later listened to the Egotistical (Love songs from the singer to themselves, I guess) and Oral Sex/Masturbation songs and they were a little less face melting, though.

LOL K-Fed. "You can't spend as much money as me!" Ha-ha-ha! :D

And ah, one of the I am sad because I am famous songs. It sort of reminds me of Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" because the tune is nice (and in Charlene's case, the singing is nice), but the message of the lyrics is disgusting (the "look at me! I'm a fake lesbian doing this to be cool!" aspect, not the kissing a girl part).

And Hah! Oral sex. (And lesbian oral sex ... I didn't get that the first time around.)

Bah. I need this book. Maybe I should just order it from Amazon.
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* [livejournal.com profile] 47nite introduced me to the comedic awesome of Yahtzee Croshaw and I've been having a great time ever since. His latest review, on Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles, a game which I haven't played but I've watched others play the original games (and I also actually beat Resident Evil 2 myself -- I think it was one of the first games I beat) and when he started going on about the story and dialogue of the RE games I laughed so hard I had to watch it again because I missed half of the jokes. It's true. It's all true ... but he's funny enough I enjoy watching/listening to a review even when I haven't played it.

I also checked out his Web site ... didn't like his written reviews as much (although as a recent member of the "Yes, I actually read ALL of Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty Chronicles" guild I salute him). But I downloaded his 5 Days a Stranger game. Only a day in but it managed to actually scare me even with the primitive graphics. I'll be playing more soon ... maybe tomorrow night.

* J.R. Fettinger's life seems to be stable yet again and so Spidey Kicks Butt is now updating again on a consistent basis, w00t! I'm still pissed over OMD, but at least he makes stuff fun.

* The quality of Homestar Runner sometimes seems to vacillate between "kind of all right" to "pretty good" these days. But I do miss consistent "fucking awesome." Luckily, fucking awesome came back this week. Also, thank you last year's email for making fun of that stupid "Oranjella and Lemonjella" urban legend. (Although I remember them being an actual names on that TV show Detention - whatever.)

* Um ... running out of entries on this journal theme. I did, however, get rid of a book I had on Bookmooch for over a year -- something I really didn't like and wanted to get rid of so I'm happy about it. :-D Shortpacked! has also been pretty amusing, so long as I don't expect too much of it.

One person I regularly read who HAS been seriously disappointing me is James Berardinelli. He's started up ReelThoughts and reviewing older movies on a consistent basis, which is bad. But his Sweeney Todd review where he stated that musical "Was far from Sondheim's best work" and then later said, "Well, I haven't actually listened to the original cast recording or seen it was really, really stupid. Ditto on saying "If Katie Holmes is going to act this crappily, she should concentrate on staying home and taking care of Suri." [sigh] Even giving him the benefit of the doubt that he was judging her acting ability with wanting to make a topical reference and not trying to be sexist doesn't excuse that ... well, it kind of is. Really.

* Speaking of dear Katie, or rather her crazy husband, the wank communities have been finding some awesome stuff lately, especially regarding this Web War with Scientology. Watching Message to Scientology while [livejournal.com profile] cyberweasel was visiting was kind of a surreal feeling. I felt like I was in one of those movies where the hacker is making his grand announcement to the Internet and to illustrate that, the director cuts to scenes of half-dressed people in messy apartments staring in awe at the screen.

Also, the weirdest thing happened when we were watching The Un-Funny Truth About Scientology (with the creepy music turned down). I actually was watching and for no reason lost my equilibrium and felt like the room was spinning. Very creepy.

In less scary news, Check out this returned vintage wank. Glad I never got into The Doors.
Hey, Alejandro! How about an icon of Kona-chan pondering, "Twincest is wrong, eh?" with Kagami and Tsukasa? Y/N? (I'm not into the pairing at all, but it would be something she would think, I believe.)

I've now watched all of the "official" Marx Brothers movies. A Night in Casablanca was significantly better than The Big Store/Go West!/At the Circus blah. Mostly because the "meet cutes" were rarely in it and only the evil chick got to sing. Still, it was hard to look at Harpo with the age lines along his eyes (he also seemed to use a lot more props and move around a lot less) and the veins in Chico's hands. Which is weird because I KNOW they got old. I've seen the clip of Groucho performing "Lydia, The Tattooed Lady" in his twilight years, but thinking of Harpo old is just strange ...

I don't think I'm going to seek out any of the "non-canon" Marx Brothers movies ... well, maybe Love Happy.

Also, to clear my "DVDs to watch" list, I watched The Osbournes Season 2 1/2 ... and, to my disappointment, still enjoyed it. I'd like to think my taste matured but ... eh, no.

I have a theory that MTV and VH1 have somehow managed to make the television equivalent of marijuana (sans the hallucinations) and have injected it into all of their TV shows for the past decade or so. The Osbournes, The I Love the ... shows, The Most Awesomely ... shows, Celebrity Fit Club. They're not harmful, they're only emotionally addicting but God DAMN if they don't make you okay with being bored.

On a similar subject, I want to take the time out to say, when I ponder the state of gender relations in the media, no industry makes me more depressed than the music industry. Which is weird, because it's not like female singers/performers haven't always been visible and that the other media industries don't do egregiously sexist things.

But sheesh, the music industry practically wears its objectification of women like a motherfucking BADGE. And I'm not attacking sexiness, either. I don't think anything early Madonna did was objectification. Playing up the male gaze ... okay, sure. To an extent, I don't mind it if the performer wants to act like they're seducing the audience.

BUT I do have a problem with, well, girls in thongs dancing around while a rapper sings sexist lyrics. Or an uptight woman suddenly undergoing a personality change and ripping her clothes off because she hears a metal song. Or two women randomly licking each others kisses in that "OMG! We're lesbians! That makes us cool, right?" way where it really doesn't seem like they're even enjoying themselves. Or a woman being seduced by a monkey so the ANGRY YOUNG ARTISTS (TM) can mollify the audience into believing that women are bitches. Or a woman who seemed to be in a socially-conscious band deciding it would be really cool if she set off on her own and sung nonsense.

Yeah, I'm over-generalizing like shit, but the whole thing wants to make me throw out my TV for good. It's such a, "HA-HA-HA! WE SEE YOU'RE WATCHING SILLY, SILLY FEMINIST AND WE DON'T GIVE A SHIT BECAUSE YOU CAN BE REPLACED BY A MILLION GIRLS WHO'LL HUMILIATE THEMSELVES ON ONE OF OUR DATING SHOWS! FUCK YOU! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

And to finish up ... that's why you can't have a rocketship.

...

Okay, that reference was too obscure.

...

I don't know how else to end this post.

...

Here, have some mash-ups.

The Ghost that Feeds (NIN meets Ghostbusters ... I don't understand the Journey thing, don't bother to watch the video)
Trekkie and Kate Monster from Avenue Q sing Wicked's "Popular"
Baby vs. Alec Baldwin (I wouldn't bet on the Baldwin)
A nice anonymous commentator said s/he would like to hear more of my journalistic exploits. Well, I don't really like talking about my work very much, but I will give you a summary:

Being a journalist means traveling up and down the county twice in a day, speaking with members of the congressional delegation of your state twice in a week, yet still ending the news cycle sitting in your car in a fast food parking lot at midnight, eating a McFlurry.*

And you may quote me.

----

I've given up soda. It makes me sick after I drink it, so I have to accept that means something, no matter how good it tastes with pizza.

I'm also trying to give up movie theaters, but [livejournal.com profile] cyberweasel has been giving me :-( over the thought of us never going on a movie date again. Still, no, I'm not seeing the Harry Potter movie in theaters, but then again, I didn't see 2 & 3 in the movies, anyway.

---

Avril Lavigne's song "Girlfriend" is apparently so horrible (And practically plagiarized, I hear) that doing anything to it will make it better. There are a few YouTube mashups but this is the best one ... which is kind of amazing considering I think that Unk song would really, really annoy me.

---

What is wrong with people who make AMVs for Darkwing Duck?

I mean, this Darkwing/Gosalyn (NOT INCEST!** Begone, LJ TOS!) video is okay, although I'm pretty sure if Josh Groban wasn't such a technically excellent singer that song could reach "Christmas Shoes"-level maudlin-ness with its repetitive and simplistic verses. Still, you know ... it makes a degree of sense.

But then somebody in the comments said this:
Another good song that would be good for their relationship would be, "My Immortal" from Evanescence.

...

I could go into why that idea is so stupid, BUT it would waste your time and mine.

Still, as stupid as it is, I looked around YouTube and found that a lot of the song choices were about that level of stupidity. What does Remedy have to do with Quackerjack? What does Sinner have to do with the Liquidator? (Except possibly the title ... and that "raise your hand" thing fit ... but the theme is ... not really working unless you squint very hard.) What does this have to do with Taras Bulba? Okay, so they're all made by the same person ... Plus, she is a Loonatics fan, so maybe it's just her thing to make characters who are jokes be all extreme and spit nails and stuff. (Okay, Taras Bulba is badass but ... not in that sort of "YOU CAN'T JUDGE MEEEEE!!!!" way. Like he cares ...)

Why am I talking about that show? I hope at least one of you cares so I don't look entirely stupid.

---

I am so intrigued by this book, even though I've read a lot of reviews, and even the positive ones mocked it for the author's tendency to ramble and thought that he was wrong on many points. However, as I read the reviews I learned about conflicts in Shakespeare study such as revisionism/anti-revisionism, the very fact that there are multiple Hamlets and King Lears, about Peter Brook and I finally got a good grasp on the Quatros vs. Folios argument.

And then I thought, "Hey! If I'm learning so much from the reviews, imagine what I would learn if I actually read the thing!"

So I put it on my bookmooch wishlist ... and if I can't get it there I'll try to buy it cheap. I mean, he apparently bashes Harold Bloom.*** I mean, that has to be worth it.



* This is all true. Don't worry -- the parking lot was well-lit.
** Yes, I know it wouldn't be technical incest because she's adopted and would be more like a Woody Allen/Soon-Yi thing and ... oh hell, you know what I mean.
*** Harvard literary critic who worships the dead white male canon, thinks Shakespeare "invented the human being", thinks Harry Potter is an evil thing that's making children sub-literate and is alleged to have sexually harassed (or abused? I don't remember) Naomi Wolf. I wish he didn't look so much like my dear departed Grandpa so I could hate him more.
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... but they may have very, very embarrassing taste in music.

What I've been listening to tonight and dancing around to without the aid of a DDR machine ... very scary

This is what I used to hear as a child ... My Dad used to dance around and sing it. And this doesn't even have the really, really "I am catering to my bathhouse crowd" verse in which the Divine Miss M's male back up singers come in ...

And I was surprised when he told me.

Oddly enough, my Dad hates all the stereotypical for-gay-males divas such as Barbara Streisand and Judy Garland -- he thinks they genuinely suck.

Still, my dad lived The Queer as Folk life for awhile. Thus, I've listened to a lot of songs like "New York City Boy" and "You Think You're a Man" and a song with verses such as "Strip for me, babe/Strip for you .../Strip for me, 'cuz I want you to ..." (This was AFTER -- don't think that was my lullaby or anything). This was really bizarre when I was in my formative years and kind of painful for my brother.

Mark: "So, we're in the car ... and William [my Dad's partner] turns on this song ... and it starts out, 'On the first day, God created the earth. On the second day, God created man. And then ... he commanded them to DANCE.' And then there's this techno beat throughout the whole thing ... and then every once in awhile he says, 'Why are you so QUIET?'" *
Dad: "Yeaaaah ... it was kind of a bad song ... I didn't like it either. But he JUST BOUGHT the album and I didn't want to make him feel bad."

Still ... in my heart of hearts ... I kind of like those songs. Now he's gotten into comfortable post-midlife crisis "I'm now with a man and happy and have no need to pull myself into leather pants" days and so he plays Dido. On our ski trip to Vermont, they played Dido non-stop, five hours up and five hours back to the point where I, like Eric Clapton's "Tears in Heaven" and Evanescence's "My Immortal" cannot listen to the song (ETA: Doh! Forgot to mention the name: "White Flag") without getting extremely, irrationally pissed off. I was so angry when I realized that movie Evening put it on the soundtrack. [whines] Come back, leather wantons! Save me from the easy listening!

[turns on the mp3 again] Ahhh, that's better. :-) "This is my story, I ain't ashamed to tell it ..." :-)

* Not that he really has room to talk, as he just wrote a song with the lyrics "THEY. ARE. AT THE DOOR. TRY. ING. TO EAT ME. THIS. IS. MY LAST STAND." And those were just the understandable ones ... the rest was unintelligible growling. I liked a lot of the video, though. It starred his friend who mumbles a lot about manga/Neil Gaiman/video games/the Kushiel's Legacy trilogy to me and prefaces every sentence with "DUDE!" as the first zombie. If they ever post it on YouTube, I'll post it here.
So, have you heard of my favorite toilet book? I Hate Myself and Want to Die: The 52 Most Depressing Songs You Ever Heard. No, of course you haven't. But it's funny, and so is the author's article about submitting it to the British libel lawyers? The complaints are special.

Favorite one:
The reader is told "if you cross Brian Wilson with Bram Stoker and add more voices in the head, you have Jim Steinman." Is Mr. Steinman clinically insane and is there evidence of this?

I also like this response.

In relation to Whitney Houston, is it true and is there evidence that she had stints in rehab?

Reynolds' response: This is like being asked for evidence that Brad Pitt has ever met Angelina Jolie.


Heh-heh-heh.
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