quietprofanity (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
quietprofanity) wrote2008-03-13 07:36 pm
quietprofanity) wrote2008-03-13 07:36 pm
I need to make new icons, these are getting stale ...
Anyway, sorry about the bit of bizzaro-ness from me lately. I think I'm better now. Well, kind of. I've been thinking.
Why am I here?
I just wonder what it is I'm trying to do keeping up this LiveJournal. I could quit ... I've considered quitting a few times over the years, but I seem to keep coming back. Maybe it's just some sort of need or something like that.
But I don't know what to do at this point. My fanfic days are pretty much over. I don't make political posts. I try to avoid stuff about my job and actually most of my life now. So I just come here and bleat about fandom stuff that ... I don't know if it's that interesting. It doesn't get a wide audience besides maybe WFA on occasion but even that's kind of a joke because I'm not really into comics right now. The only comic I can really get excited about potentially reading any time soon is Black Hole, but that's been weird. (Amazon.com thought I would like it. I read the concept and it grossed me out and I didn't want to read it ... and then I kept looking at it again, and again, and again, and then saw it in the store and decided it needed to be a purchase soon.) But anyway I don't know how many people have heard of that, so whatever. Not interesting. My book obsession. Maybe somewhat interesting. I'm into video games now but talking about them makes me feel like a n00b. ("Hey, you know what's cool? Silent Hill 3!" "I got a copy of Crazy Taxi!" -- Um ... right.)
I ... have been distant, I know. Which, well, at first I felt more of a responsibility to tell people things, but then I read some old posts of a friend who wrote "This isn't an RP journal." And it's not. I can, of course, say what I want.
And weirdly enough, I seem to want some sort of audience. But I wonder why. At one point I sook people out to be my friends. Now I ... don't want to do that. I don't really feel like finding new messageboards and getting into the drama on them. It's not fun. I don't know if it's making much of a difference in the world, either. Except for fandom_wank. That's always fun. It just is. But I don't really make friends on fandom_wank.
I don't know. I know some of you well, but not others. And some people who I liked a lot are gone or near gone, and I get sad. Not all change is bad. Some people I have to admit I don't miss. And I feel better this year than I did last, but there seems to be an overhanging thought of "What's next?" I'm not sure.
I have a few plans for a different sort of Internet presence. I don't know how feasible they are. But I need a creative outlet besides work. I have a decent job; other than yesterday I like it quite a bit. But it's not too late to give up on my dreams. I just need a plan for how to achieve them.
Not now, though. I'm going to play Crazy Taxi and Silent Hill 3.
Why am I here?
I just wonder what it is I'm trying to do keeping up this LiveJournal. I could quit ... I've considered quitting a few times over the years, but I seem to keep coming back. Maybe it's just some sort of need or something like that.
But I don't know what to do at this point. My fanfic days are pretty much over. I don't make political posts. I try to avoid stuff about my job and actually most of my life now. So I just come here and bleat about fandom stuff that ... I don't know if it's that interesting. It doesn't get a wide audience besides maybe WFA on occasion but even that's kind of a joke because I'm not really into comics right now. The only comic I can really get excited about potentially reading any time soon is Black Hole, but that's been weird. (Amazon.com thought I would like it. I read the concept and it grossed me out and I didn't want to read it ... and then I kept looking at it again, and again, and again, and then saw it in the store and decided it needed to be a purchase soon.) But anyway I don't know how many people have heard of that, so whatever. Not interesting. My book obsession. Maybe somewhat interesting. I'm into video games now but talking about them makes me feel like a n00b. ("Hey, you know what's cool? Silent Hill 3!" "I got a copy of Crazy Taxi!" -- Um ... right.)
I ... have been distant, I know. Which, well, at first I felt more of a responsibility to tell people things, but then I read some old posts of a friend who wrote "This isn't an RP journal." And it's not. I can, of course, say what I want.
And weirdly enough, I seem to want some sort of audience. But I wonder why. At one point I sook people out to be my friends. Now I ... don't want to do that. I don't really feel like finding new messageboards and getting into the drama on them. It's not fun. I don't know if it's making much of a difference in the world, either. Except for fandom_wank. That's always fun. It just is. But I don't really make friends on fandom_wank.
I don't know. I know some of you well, but not others. And some people who I liked a lot are gone or near gone, and I get sad. Not all change is bad. Some people I have to admit I don't miss. And I feel better this year than I did last, but there seems to be an overhanging thought of "What's next?" I'm not sure.
I have a few plans for a different sort of Internet presence. I don't know how feasible they are. But I need a creative outlet besides work. I have a decent job; other than yesterday I like it quite a bit. But it's not too late to give up on my dreams. I just need a plan for how to achieve them.
Not now, though. I'm going to play Crazy Taxi and Silent Hill 3.