I'm so disappointed ...

I'm so depressed ...

I want so much more out of life ...


I mean, it's like, DONE. People have read it. People have put it up for review. It's not like Kevin O'Neill is still taking forever drawing it. Alan Moore, that big bearded blabbermouth, has an enormous interview talking ALL ABOUT THAT and teasing me to no end on Newsarama. It's ready. WHY IS IT NOT IN MY HANDS?

And why am I so upset about this? I mean, it's a published fanfic, based on works that are published. Not only are they in the stores, not only are they in the library, THEY ARE IN MY GODDAMNED ROOM.

I have The Invisible Man and 2,000 Leagues Under the Sea, the primary docs for two of the main characters in book one and two, in my room. I haven't read it. I could read that now.

I have War of the Worlds, which the whole second book was based on, in my room. I haven't read it. I could read THAT now.

I also have The Island of Dr. Moreau (Vol. 2), The Pearl (Vol. 1), The Complete Sherlock Holmes (Vol. 1), Moby Dick (Vol. 1), Don Quixote (Black Dossier), The Thirty Nine Steps (Black Dossier), Gulliver's Travels (Black Dossier), Fanny Hill (Black Dossier), Herland (okay, brief mention in the Almanac, but ...), The Coming Race (Black Dossier), The Iliad (Black Dossier), The Odyssey (Black Dossier) and Beowulf (Black Dossier). I could read ANY OF THOSE NOW. Many of them are probably MUCH BETTER than Century.

Hell, I am reading On the Road, which is referenced in the Dossier, RIGHT NOW. It is right next to me. I could just reach over and read it.

For all intents and purposes, I absolutely, positively, 100% do not need Century by any stretch of the imagination.


quietprofanity: (Chii - Thoughtful)
( Apr. 27th, 2009 11:58 am)
So, I saw I Love You, Man last Friday with my Dad and his boyfriend, because my brother thinks that Dad is exactly like Paul Rudd in the movie: someone who is only into their relationships and doesn't have any friends. And Dad thinks I'm like that ... I'm kind of thinking I fail in BOTH categories these days, though. Anyway, the movie was fun, even if it had the most random cast. J. Jonah Jameson as the Dad! The lady from 3rd Rock from the Sun as the mom! The "Jizz in my Pants" guy as the brother! The crazy guy from Superbad as the ... crazy guy! Still, I appreciated the movie for being a kind of low-key comedy, even it got very "Hollywood Third Act" at the end. It was fun, though.

I also read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho and, well ... yeah. It's kind of what you expect from a book that's advertised on the basis of how IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE and not how good it is. If you can write "FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS NO MATTER WHAT" on a post-it note and re-read that constantly, you don't need to read The Alchemist. I didn't hate it, though. Maybe because I do need encouragement, and having just been to the Middle East the descriptions of the desert and the idea of going to the Pyramids made me a little nostalgic. Or maybe I was just in a "Well, I'm glad I'm reading something" mood. Otherwise I'd be putting more energy into the rant I'm doing right now about how frustrating it is that the book says follow your dreams, even if love has to wait, and the female character/love interest says "My dream is to be your wife, so I will wait for you. It's cool, I'm a desert woman. I am meant to wait for my man while he goes on adventures." Blech. But I'm sure all the women who read this don't think about it because the book places you to identify with Santiago and that's kind of a problem in of itself.

But, really, I'm not that excited about getting mad about this book. I don't know what it is. Apathy, perhaps. Or maybe The Good Mother just drained me.
quietprofanity: (Lum - Happy)
( Apr. 26th, 2009 07:47 pm)
You know what is better than breaking through a writer's block?

That's right ... NOTHING!

slightly TMI )

Although there's not enough daylight to go walking now ... whoops.
You know how usually whenever a feminist complains about something in pop culture people are like, "Oh, you're just looking for things to be offended about!"? Actually, I find whenever something pisses me off it's not because I went in expecting to hate it. It's because I expected to love it and its sexism slapped me in the face. Usually when I'm prepared for sexism I end up going, "Hey, that wasn't bad at all!" This may be why I ended up loving Iron Man and Superbad -- which I went into wearing my critical feminist goggles -- but came out of The Dark Knight and Slumdog Millionaire -- which were advertised as practically perfect in every way -- fuming over the poor treatment of their female characters.

Okay, to my credit the reason why I like the first two movies and not the other two may have more to do with characters being specifically coded as jackasses and over-reliance on cliches but ANYWAY. My point is if I'm looking for your work to do badly I may end up viewing it more charitably in the end. I kind of went into The Good Mother by Sue Miller with bad expectations, as Susan Faludi called its movie version a piece of "backlash moviemaking." Still, I thought the premise, or at least the premise as I understood it, of what to do when the man you love does something bad to your kid was interesting. But, sigh, Faludi ended up being right. Very, very right.

Spoilers Abound for both The Good Mother and The Awakening )
I'm not quite ready to deliver ye olde righteous smackdown onto The Good Mother yet, because I'm re-reading another book I had to read in high school for comparison (and -- while I still don't believe in its conclusions, it's a WHOLE lot better this time around). But I don't feel quite like going to work on job searching or therapist-hunting after the unemployment debacle today, I'm going to write about a book I read while also reading Kushiel's Chosen.

Read more... )

*"Mac" instead of "Mc" because she's Scottish, you know?
quietprofanity: (Nite Owl - Let's Go!)
( Apr. 22nd, 2009 11:24 am)
I think I finally got New Jersey to change my address for Delaware. And it took only three days of hour-long phone conversations to do it.


(Look, I'm taking what I can get ...)
quietprofanity: (Growing up Cullen - Behinds)
( Apr. 21st, 2009 12:02 pm)
Why can't some stimulus money go into improving the states' Departments of Labor? I mean, really ...
quietprofanity: (Smeyer Can't Read)
( Apr. 20th, 2009 10:34 pm)
Why does Guilty Pleasures take Marvel 12 issues to adapt but Pride and Prejudice only takes five?

Also, why do all of the Bennet sisters have that Greg Land-esque "please jizz in my mouth" face? Hell, Mrs. Bennet kind of has it. Ew.

Also, that shouldn't bother me more than the horrible, condescending cover but it does.
Fuck that stupid, slut-shaming turd of a book.

Longer review later.
I think I'm officially a "fan" of the Kushiel/Terre D'Ange/whatever series, now. I mean, there was so much I didn't like about Kushiel's Chosen, the second part of Jacqueline Carey's first trilogy. Some parts even offended me, but I've invested what's now more than 1,500 pages into these characters so I guess I'm just going to see where this is going. At least until the next book. I'm not sure if I give a crap about the kid in the second trilogy. All this means is I don't weigh things anymore on the "good or bad" scale but on the "What made me happy and what pissed me off?" scale.

Read more here. )
quietprofanity: (Smeyer Can't Read)
( Apr. 16th, 2009 10:47 am)
RiffTrax is doing Twilight.

From the preview:

RiffTrax was caught up in the Twilight frenzy, and not surprisingly, given that we are staffed almost exclusively by 13 year-old girls. So when we heard rumors of the feature film—the whispers of John Goodman being cast as Edward were especially worrying—we sent so many texts beginning "OMG!!!1!!!!11!!" we nearly shut down our SMS service. At the movie's premiere we were there among the throngs, shrieking with girlish glee when Robert Pattinson got out of his limo (it turns out we had mistakenly gone to the premiere of The Changeling and were actually shrieking for John Malkovich, but the point still stands.) And when it was finally released on DVD we ruined our first three copies by hugging them too much.

This is not allaying my fears that the RiffTrax is going to be "HAW-HAW! Teen girls are so stupid" now. Especially since the RiffTrax is going to be all-guys. I also hated the "'I don't have ...' 'a wang.'" joke. Other bits were funny, but ehhhh ... I hope it doesn't turn into something like this. (And I feel like I'm the only person who hated the latter, as well.)
Favorite part was definitely the kid from Superbad wanting to buy the high heel boots with the goldfish in them.

I don't know WHY.
A few days ago, I saw Pineapple Express, which was a LOT of fun. Okay, the "dating a high schooler" subplot made me cringe. (In every scene with her and Seth Rogen I was praying for them to break up.) So much had me hysterical, though. That CAR CHASE. Who knew Harry Osborn could be so funny? He was so great. Mark was right to watch it with me and Dad, too. My Dad's observation when they got lost in the woods actually made me laugh as hard as many parts of the movie.

"These guys are so stupid, but they're stupid enough that it kind of works out for them. It's like my grandmother used to say: God protects fools and drunks."

(Unless they're Anna Faris in Observe and Report. Ha ha haaaaa ... yeah, that's not funny.)

Oh! Then tonight I saw Adventureland. That ... was not the movie I expected. The trailer made it seem like goofy hijinx in a park all the time. It's actually a romantic dramedy with occasional goofy hijinx. It was ... pretty good. All romantic drama and secrets and stuff. I didn't love it, but I enjoyed it. (I wish some things had also been followed through on. Like Joel's story and the story of James' parents -- I think they're kind of lying about the dad's job loss.) Also, the movie was really amusing when I thought of Kristen Stewart's Emily as the dark!, alternate universe twin of Bella Swan. Emily has a bad family life and a new stepparent she doesn't like! Emily dates two guys -- one of them much older than her and the other one a virgin. It's like Bella except Emily drinks and smokes weed and has sex and shit. And she's kind of more likable.
quietprofanity: (Default)
( Apr. 14th, 2009 01:06 pm)
Thanks for voting in my "When would you rather be 17 again?" poll. I have to admit I thought you all would agree with me (because my Dad did, and I'm a bit of an egomaniac) but it seems like we're pretty split overall. That's cool. Everyone had really interesting answers.

The reason why I asked the question was because I always figured the reason we all think "Oh, it was so much better when I was young!" isn't so much because we want to have younger bodies or whatever but because we were seeing things through nostalgia. And I didn't really buy the 17 Again movie premise because ... man, why would you want your second experience of being 17 to involve listening to music you're not familiar with (I don't want to be a teen in the world of The Jonas Brothers, myself. Backstreet Boys and N'Sync was guilty-pleasure embarrassing enough without the weird abstinence message to it) and not being with your friends. But I guess associations of what it means to be 17 are different to others. And I can respect everyone who wants to have fun again, but with new toys this time.

But I think what I have truly learned is that Hollywood needs to make a new movie: one with [livejournal.com profile] 47nite as a plucky teen going back to the past so he can participate in a RACE AGAINST TIME to stop 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina. I imagine that, due to Hollywood's racist casting, he'll be played by Shia LeBouf. Sorry, buddy.
From here.

Dear Mr. Sanctimonious Know-It-All,

I'm sorry you and your son hadn't read what was frankly a really enjoyable series (and one which I wish I could have followed in its second incarnation, but what with the lack of time and lack of funds and all ...) but if you had, you would have known that the Spider-Girl comic had pretty much little-to-no cheesecake*, no bad words, a strong female heroine, romantic subplots, a light-hearted tone and ... hey, sounds pretty much EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAID. Isn't that funny?

Oh, wait, it wasn't manga. And it actually had a tie to the Spider-Man series. Because former Spider-Man-esque titles that cut ties with it did so well. And all girls like is manga, right? Yay gender assumptions!

And does it maybe occur to you that the last issue of the series is going to maybe WANT to be a legacy deal for story purposes? You know, given that its diverse group of fanboys AND fangirls have been working to save this series for years now? But I guess that all could have been helped if you'd just came in and told us what we really wanted to see, huh?

We don't need your help, dude.
[livejournal.com profile] quietprofanity

*And that splash is a crotch shot? You've got to be fucking kidding me.
quietprofanity: (Ataru - Sick Perverts)
( Apr. 13th, 2009 08:50 am)
X what you saw
- O what you haven't finished/saw sizable portions
- Bold what you loved
- Strike for what you disliked
- Leave unchanged if neutral
Read more... )

ETA: I missed taking out some of [livejournal.com profile] temperance_doll's opinions. Whoops.
[Poll #1382507]

Feel free to explain your answers in the comments. Also, you can't be like, "But I don't want to give up my driver's license and ability to drink in bars." I mean, DUH. But let's answer the question here, right?
quietprofanity: (Sabra - Pissed (or Jewish))
( Apr. 11th, 2009 11:28 pm)
Click here for background.

Man, is it just me or is Firestar's costume looking really boring lately?

I'm feelin' the rage building around this, although I'm not feeling it for myself. One because my heart has hardened into a black rock of cynicism, but two because I feel like this has been something that's been passed around the Marvel Comics HQ for awhile and it's finally come to fruition just because it's BEEN THERE for awhile. I remember [livejournal.com profile] papajoemambo suggesting to me that this was an idea they had, although I thought it turned into Alias. I'm guessing they've just gotten stuck on it and want to see it done through hell or highwater, just because it's there. That's probably why the Watchmen movie got made.

But why now, really? I mean, Sex and the City has been off the air for five years now. Combining it with superheroes has already been done and didn't their last sexy girls book with the Black Cat and an underused African-American heroine not do so well and was not helped because Marvel kind of showed it didn't really give a shit what the female audience thought.

I don't know. I kind of say what I've said when I read the horrible Mary Jane novel and the I-remain-unimpressed by it Mary Jane/Mary Jane: Homecoming/Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane series: if I wanted to read romance I would read romance. I mean, I don't think I would love Sex and the City but I figure they know what they're doing.


quietprofanity: (Default)


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