I wish I had more time to write for me, oh well ...

A nice anonymous commentator said s/he would like to hear more of my journalistic exploits. Well, I don't really like talking about my work very much, but I will give you a summary:

Being a journalist means traveling up and down the county twice in a day, speaking with members of the congressional delegation of your state twice in a week, yet still ending the news cycle sitting in your car in a fast food parking lot at midnight, eating a McFlurry.*

And you may quote me.

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I've given up soda. It makes me sick after I drink it, so I have to accept that means something, no matter how good it tastes with pizza.

I'm also trying to give up movie theaters, but cyberweasel has been giving me :-( over the thought of us never going on a movie date again. Still, no, I'm not seeing the Harry Potter movie in theaters, but then again, I didn't see 2 & 3 in the movies, anyway.

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Avril Lavigne's song "Girlfriend" is apparently so horrible (And practically plagiarized, I hear) that doing anything to it will make it better. There are a few YouTube mashups but this is the best one ... which is kind of amazing considering I think that Unk song would really, really annoy me.

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What is wrong with people who make AMVs for Darkwing Duck?

I mean, this Darkwing/Gosalyn (NOT INCEST!** Begone, LJ TOS!) video is okay, although I'm pretty sure if Josh Groban wasn't such a technically excellent singer that song could reach "Christmas Shoes"-level maudlin-ness with its repetitive and simplistic verses. Still, you know ... it makes a degree of sense.

But then somebody in the comments said this:
Another good song that would be good for their relationship would be, "My Immortal" from Evanescence.

...

I could go into why that idea is so stupid, BUT it would waste your time and mine.

Still, as stupid as it is, I looked around YouTube and found that a lot of the song choices were about that level of stupidity. What does Remedy have to do with Quackerjack? What does Sinner have to do with the Liquidator? (Except possibly the title ... and that "raise your hand" thing fit ... but the theme is ... not really working unless you squint very hard.) What does this have to do with Taras Bulba? Okay, so they're all made by the same person ... Plus, she is a Loonatics fan, so maybe it's just her thing to make characters who are jokes be all extreme and spit nails and stuff. (Okay, Taras Bulba is badass but ... not in that sort of "YOU CAN'T JUDGE MEEEEE!!!!" way. Like he cares ...)

Why am I talking about that show? I hope at least one of you cares so I don't look entirely stupid.

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I am so intrigued by this book, even though I've read a lot of reviews, and even the positive ones mocked it for the author's tendency to ramble and thought that he was wrong on many points. However, as I read the reviews I learned about conflicts in Shakespeare study such as revisionism/anti-revisionism, the very fact that there are multiple Hamlets and King Lears, about Peter Brook and I finally got a good grasp on the Quatros vs. Folios argument.

And then I thought, "Hey! If I'm learning so much from the reviews, imagine what I would learn if I actually read the thing!"

So I put it on my bookmooch wishlist ... and if I can't get it there I'll try to buy it cheap. I mean, he apparently bashes Harold Bloom.*** I mean, that has to be worth it.



* This is all true. Don't worry -- the parking lot was well-lit.
** Yes, I know it wouldn't be technical incest because she's adopted and would be more like a Woody Allen/Soon-Yi thing and ... oh hell, you know what I mean.
*** Harvard literary critic who worships the dead white male canon, thinks Shakespeare "invented the human being", thinks Harry Potter is an evil thing that's making children sub-literate and is alleged to have sexually harassed (or abused? I don't remember) Naomi Wolf. I wish he didn't look so much like my dear departed Grandpa so I could hate him more.

If I didn't hate Hilary Duff before, I really hate her now ...

What I Know About Men

I'm not really a flirt, but I am a girl. I'm not a tramp, or a whore, but I do manipulate men when I feel like it. Girls bat their eyelashes, and act like they don't know anything in front of guys they like, or give a little bit of eye contact, but not too much, or a bit of touching. Or being coy. Sure, I do a bit of that. Men do it too, though. They have different games they play, which can be fun, but I'm not too into game-playing.

Want some more?

I'm not, like, a crazy feminist. I think women definitely need men. Like, I couldn't imagine having a girlfriend! There are things that you get from one another, as well as the physical stuff, that are essential. Guys make me feel secure and comfortable, when I'm scared or need attention. They bring stability. And affection. And fun. And drama. You learn so much from a boyfriend. It's hard to put into words I guess.

Wait, wait! It gets better!

I want to have a husband and two kids and a nice little life baking pies. I'm quite romantic. It's definitely important to have someone make you feel special.

And some of you devil's advocates who say you really care about women's choice may be thinking, "But if you're a feminist, you should ACCEPT her choice to stay at home and cook!" Well, I don't know how that fit into her singing career, but yes, she can bake pies to her heart's content if she pleases. That's not so much my problem, my problem (if you didn't get it from the "women definitely need men") is that she thinks it's inevitable ...

Women are definitely home-makers. We're obviously very different from men. But everyone's looking for love, in the end. Men aren't as strong as women. And they don't have as big an attention span. They want things immediately, from food to girls. The women I know are more successful than the men. It's hard for me to meet someone. I don't need someone who, like, has as much as me, but I don't want someone who has much less because then you never really feel taken care of. And it would always make a guy feel not like a man.

And by the way, any men out there, it's not like the girl's really a catch:

I was talking to a girlfriend the other day who hasn't had a boyfriend in a really long time, and she was like, 'Why can't I get a boyfriend? I'm going to write down a list of all the things I want in a guy, and I'm not going to waste my time with anyone who doesn't tick all the boxes.' And the list had everything from 'not leaving clothes on the floor' to his deep morals and stuff. It's kind of a good idea.

Wow! So you're stuck in fifth grade AND the 1950s, huh Hilary? FUN!

Please, please, please for the love of God never condescend to tell me that feminism isn't still needed, or that we're "post-feminist". God, I hate these freaking jokes of celebrities.