quietprofanity: (Chii - Thoughtful)
( Apr. 27th, 2009 11:58 am)
So, I saw I Love You, Man last Friday with my Dad and his boyfriend, because my brother thinks that Dad is exactly like Paul Rudd in the movie: someone who is only into their relationships and doesn't have any friends. And Dad thinks I'm like that ... I'm kind of thinking I fail in BOTH categories these days, though. Anyway, the movie was fun, even if it had the most random cast. J. Jonah Jameson as the Dad! The lady from 3rd Rock from the Sun as the mom! The "Jizz in my Pants" guy as the brother! The crazy guy from Superbad as the ... crazy guy! Still, I appreciated the movie for being a kind of low-key comedy, even it got very "Hollywood Third Act" at the end. It was fun, though.

I also read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho and, well ... yeah. It's kind of what you expect from a book that's advertised on the basis of how IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE and not how good it is. If you can write "FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS NO MATTER WHAT" on a post-it note and re-read that constantly, you don't need to read The Alchemist. I didn't hate it, though. Maybe because I do need encouragement, and having just been to the Middle East the descriptions of the desert and the idea of going to the Pyramids made me a little nostalgic. Or maybe I was just in a "Well, I'm glad I'm reading something" mood. Otherwise I'd be putting more energy into the rant I'm doing right now about how frustrating it is that the book says follow your dreams, even if love has to wait, and the female character/love interest says "My dream is to be your wife, so I will wait for you. It's cool, I'm a desert woman. I am meant to wait for my man while he goes on adventures." Blech. But I'm sure all the women who read this don't think about it because the book places you to identify with Santiago and that's kind of a problem in of itself.

But, really, I'm not that excited about getting mad about this book. I don't know what it is. Apathy, perhaps. Or maybe The Good Mother just drained me.
quietprofanity: (Smeyer Can't Read)
( Apr. 16th, 2009 10:47 am)
RiffTrax is doing Twilight.

From the preview:

RiffTrax was caught up in the Twilight frenzy, and not surprisingly, given that we are staffed almost exclusively by 13 year-old girls. So when we heard rumors of the feature film—the whispers of John Goodman being cast as Edward were especially worrying—we sent so many texts beginning "OMG!!!1!!!!11!!" we nearly shut down our SMS service. At the movie's premiere we were there among the throngs, shrieking with girlish glee when Robert Pattinson got out of his limo (it turns out we had mistakenly gone to the premiere of The Changeling and were actually shrieking for John Malkovich, but the point still stands.) And when it was finally released on DVD we ruined our first three copies by hugging them too much.

This is not allaying my fears that the RiffTrax is going to be "HAW-HAW! Teen girls are so stupid" now. Especially since the RiffTrax is going to be all-guys. I also hated the "'I don't have ...' 'a wang.'" joke. Other bits were funny, but ehhhh ... I hope it doesn't turn into something like this. (And I feel like I'm the only person who hated the latter, as well.)
Favorite part was definitely the kid from Superbad wanting to buy the high heel boots with the goldfish in them.

I don't know WHY.
A few days ago, I saw Pineapple Express, which was a LOT of fun. Okay, the "dating a high schooler" subplot made me cringe. (In every scene with her and Seth Rogen I was praying for them to break up.) So much had me hysterical, though. That CAR CHASE. Who knew Harry Osborn could be so funny? He was so great. Mark was right to watch it with me and Dad, too. My Dad's observation when they got lost in the woods actually made me laugh as hard as many parts of the movie.

"These guys are so stupid, but they're stupid enough that it kind of works out for them. It's like my grandmother used to say: God protects fools and drunks."

(Unless they're Anna Faris in Observe and Report. Ha ha haaaaa ... yeah, that's not funny.)

Oh! Then tonight I saw Adventureland. That ... was not the movie I expected. The trailer made it seem like goofy hijinx in a park all the time. It's actually a romantic dramedy with occasional goofy hijinx. It was ... pretty good. All romantic drama and secrets and stuff. I didn't love it, but I enjoyed it. (I wish some things had also been followed through on. Like Joel's story and the story of James' parents -- I think they're kind of lying about the dad's job loss.) Also, the movie was really amusing when I thought of Kristen Stewart's Emily as the dark!, alternate universe twin of Bella Swan. Emily has a bad family life and a new stepparent she doesn't like! Emily dates two guys -- one of them much older than her and the other one a virgin. It's like Bella except Emily drinks and smokes weed and has sex and shit. And she's kind of more likable.
quietprofanity: (Default)
( Apr. 14th, 2009 01:06 pm)
Thanks for voting in my "When would you rather be 17 again?" poll. I have to admit I thought you all would agree with me (because my Dad did, and I'm a bit of an egomaniac) but it seems like we're pretty split overall. That's cool. Everyone had really interesting answers.

The reason why I asked the question was because I always figured the reason we all think "Oh, it was so much better when I was young!" isn't so much because we want to have younger bodies or whatever but because we were seeing things through nostalgia. And I didn't really buy the 17 Again movie premise because ... man, why would you want your second experience of being 17 to involve listening to music you're not familiar with (I don't want to be a teen in the world of The Jonas Brothers, myself. Backstreet Boys and N'Sync was guilty-pleasure embarrassing enough without the weird abstinence message to it) and not being with your friends. But I guess associations of what it means to be 17 are different to others. And I can respect everyone who wants to have fun again, but with new toys this time.

But I think what I have truly learned is that Hollywood needs to make a new movie: one with [livejournal.com profile] 47nite as a plucky teen going back to the past so he can participate in a RACE AGAINST TIME to stop 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina. I imagine that, due to Hollywood's racist casting, he'll be played by Shia LeBouf. Sorry, buddy.
quietprofanity: (Ataru - Sick Perverts)
( Apr. 13th, 2009 08:50 am)
X what you saw
- O what you haven't finished/saw sizable portions
- Bold what you loved
- Strike for what you disliked
- Leave unchanged if neutral
Read more... )

ETA: I missed taking out some of [livejournal.com profile] temperance_doll's opinions. Whoops.
quietprofanity: (Lum - Happy)
( Apr. 7th, 2009 10:21 pm)
My Review of Monsters vs. Aliens by [livejournal.com profile] quietprofanity's inner child.
Read more... )
quietprofanity: (Default)
( Apr. 6th, 2009 11:08 pm)
Okay, I suspect this review may have the worst fucking timing ever considering what I just unleashed upon the Watchmen fandom but ... you know what, I'm going to go with it.

Tonight was the first time I ever saw this or indeed, any Judd Apatow movie. Why did I wait so long? Well, when the first stream of movies came out I was in a real anti-movie funk, and that sort of continued over a long period of time. I feel kind of like I'm the last person in the universe to see Knocked Up. When these movies first came out I had the sense I may like them, but as the reports about the movies' sexism came in, my enthusiasm kind of dampened. One of the big buzzkillers were the members of the feminist blogosphere that called Superbad pro-rape because of a subplot where one of the guys tries to get a girl drunk to have sex with her. (See examples here and here.)

Normally this would put me off straight out, and while I do believe those who actually take the "Don't like it, don't read it" option should have their wishes respected when they say "I don't think I'll like this because of X" and not be snottily told they can't have an opinion until they see it, part of me really did want to form my own opinion on this one. Especially since reasons to see it started cropping up again: Seth Rogan's performance in Zack and Miri Make a Porno, the really funny Pineapple Express skit and my brother. Okay, mostly it's all my brother, who has started talking about how he and I and my father are all going to watch Pineapple Express together like it would be the holy grail of family-bonding experiences.

So the other day, Mark found Superbad on TV and TiVo'd it, saying we would watch it together. When I told him about the "pro-rape" argument, he was initially irate, and said that was ridiculous, the movie refutes it. I felt a little assured. Then a little while Mark came back and said, "Actually, I could see where it would bother people" and I felt less assured. But I soldiered on.

Spoilers for a movie I'm sure you've already seen. )
I don't seem to do anything useful by myself. Of course, I've only been up for an hour or so. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself. I don't get it, though. I got sleepy REALLY SUDDENLY at 11 p.m. or so and then only slept for like, six and a half hours.

Yesterday was okay. I made a Rorschach mask and bought a hat, plus a sunhat for Israel. Now that I have this stuff I feel like I'm mostly ready, even if I haven't started packing and am afraid I'm going to forget something really important, like my passport. I also did ironing for my clothes that I used to wear to work. We'll see what happens.

I'm reading a lot. Short stories from The Best American Short Stories 1998 (So far, Garrison Keillor has much better taste than Sue Miller -- well, the latter picked Alice Munro, so there you go.). More of Dickens, which has kind of turned around now that he had his affair. And Infodump: The Graphic Novel ... er, Earth X. (BTW, if the latter alternate reality takes place during a food shortage, why are so many of the ex-superheroes fat?)

By the way, since I'm so behind, here are some bare-bones thoughts on what I've read and watched this year.

Reviews )
I'm in New Jersey with my family. I saw Friday the 13th because I wanted to hang out with my brother, and felt a little depressed because (well, my brother and I were talking about my love life anyway, which depresses me) but I just watched that movie and was like, "Wow, I could write something about a billion times better and with more care and it will NEVER be as popular as this piece of shit." Not that I expect quality from a Jason film, but sheesh ...

I want to do something productive. Or read something good, but I was an idiot and all my unread books are back in Delaware. Well, except Bloody Bones, but I'm not in the mood for Anita Blake right now.

I could start the second part of my fanfic, but my brother made me feel a little guilty about not working on original stuff. I don't know WHY, as after the movie he was telling me that it would be super awesome if the next installment of the Friday series was Hunting Jason Voorhees. (I also posited a scenario where a bunch of corrupt businessmen go to Camp Crystal Lake to try to turn it into a resort and get killed while they're banging their secretaries. It could be a satire about the real meaning of the series. I don't think he was as fond of it, though.)

So, um ... yeah, blah.

Oh, and brother alerted me to the TV talking about Charles Dickens' ghost. I don't know. The Dickens house didn't feel haunted. He may be in the Rochester graveyard, though. I can see that.
quietprofanity: (Default)
( Feb. 14th, 2009 06:25 pm)
So I figured I'd stop by and write. Since most of my day was surf/write/nap. Although I did manage to clean my bathroom a bit. I'm kind of afraid of going out. Mostly because I'll lose money, but also because I don't want to run into V-Day crowds. Although I think I may stop at a store and pick up some green M&Ms, because I think that's hilarious.

Tomorrow I want to see Coraline early and throw away the TV my Dad gave me.

Anyway, random things I'm thinking about.


Since I'm not (vaguely) reporting on it anymore, I feel good about saying this. I don't think the stimulus check is going to be as helpful as everyone thinks it is, at least infrastructure-wise. Not that I think it'll build bridges to nowhere, but I do think it'll basically create jobs for the loyal pet contractors a certain municipality/county uses all the time and would continue to use with limited funds. And sometimes these local things get federal money anyway. It feels kind of like some gauze, but not enough to quell the wound.


Things I learned from My Job:
1.) Don't Buy A House in a Development. It always ends bad.
2.) When Someone Does Something Wrong and They Didn't Mean It, They'll Have an Explanation for Why They Did It. But If They're Defensive, They're a Criminal. (See: Blagojevich, Rod.)
3.) Never Give Up.
4.) Unpreparedness is Worse Than Tardiness. If you have to pick one, pick the latter.


I'm not big on this Fanboys movie, because "my fandom is better than yours" is something that bores me enough in real life and I don't need to see it as a movie re: The Star Wars vs. Star Trek scene. Ebert's review was crazy-harsh, though. Especially considering I saw a picture of his desk in a Russ Meyer doc and it basically WAS The Nerd Desk (TM).


Speaking of which, my Wonder Woman and my Donna Troy Wonder Woman are home now. Still haven't taken them out of the boxes, though.

Okay, eating time.
quietprofanity: (Ataru - Sick Perverts)
( Feb. 12th, 2009 08:46 pm)
Finished Shock Treatment. It was incoherent. Which wouldn't necessarily be a killer, considering that when you really think about it the plot of Rocky Horror doesn't make a whole lot of sense. But this took out 98% of the sexual stuff and 75% of the fun of its predecessor, leaving a pretty bland cheese. The cheese becomes even more tasteless when you consider Farley Flavors is also the most boring villain ever.

Weirdly enough though, Cliff de Young made a great Brad Majors. Jessica Harper ... eh ... I warmed up to her in the end but it was really hard to process her as Janet Weiss-Majors. Actually, this is the second time I've had trouble with a non-Susan Sarandon Janet, which is weird, because you wouldn't think that role would NEED a certain actor. But I've had an easier time with the non-Curry Frank N Furter I saw at the stage show than I did with their version of Janet. I guess I'm just really attached to Susan Sarandon's "ingenue but funny" interpretation. The girl at the stage show played her as a prissy bitch and I ended up hating her. Jessica Harper isn't a bad actress, but ... she's not Janet. No part of her performance "feels" like Janet to me. And ... this is so weird but ... it was so hard to process her as Janet too because her voice is DEEP. And Susan Sarandon's is ... not. MY BRAIN WON'T COMPUTE.

I really liked Richard O'Brien's character in this film. And Little Nell. Especially because she spends her few lines in the film talking funny and wearing no pants. Okay, so she did that in Rocky Horror but ... I DON'T KNOW. I really dig it this time around.

Actually, hell. I'll just post every worthwhile part of the movie below the cut. Do NOT take this as an indicator of the quality of the whole movie. Just enjoy these and pretend nothing else exists.

Read more... )
quietprofanity: (Konata - Twincest)
( Feb. 10th, 2009 08:44 pm)
I tried watching Shock Treatment tonight, expecting either an amusing trifle or the wost movie ever made. Around the thirty minute mark I got the sudden urge to get up and clean things. I guess that's the best indicator of its quality, anyway. Especially since I haven't figured out WHY I'm not into it, despite the fact that I'm not expecting Rocky Horror by any means.

Oh well.

Okay, anyway, I also remembered this was something I was willing to do ... [steps up to the microphone, taps it] test test ...



I mean, from my vantage-point, both comics feature goofy villains, ridiculous side characters, a heroine who often gets tied up/unclothed and aspirations to higher feminist ideals despite their pornographic nature.

Now, from the brief bits I've seen of both series, I'll totally admit that Empowered has made me giggle. (Specifically this part.) Whereas Tarot just makes me stare in open-mouthed horror.

I also have a suspicion I may like Empowered because at one point I willingly watched all I could find of Cutey Honey, even Re: Cutie Honey i.e. the animated adaption of the live action movie, i.e. the cartoon wherein the bad guy powers her evil machine with THE POWER OF 1,000 WOMEN'S ORGASMS!

Look, take away my feminist card if you must (NO! IT'S MINE!) but I have John Waters' sensibility when it comes to sex humor. Non sequiturs are my best friends.

Plus, nobody who draws bishonen Peter Parker can be bad, right?

But I want to hear your answers. If anyone will answer. HELP ME, INTERNET!
Apparently Dave Willis does the same thing with his toys. Heeeee.

Oh, and y'all remember when I went crazy and decided to do a five-part review of "An American Carol". Well, a little while ago, Noel Murray from the Onion AV Club subjected herself to the commentary.

What's the most fascinating to me is that they had a liberal writer.

Friedman, whom Farley describes as "to the left of Castro," apparently signed onto this project because he likes to get paid to riff, and he can't stand Michael Moore. Referring to the public response to the movie, Friedman quips, "I said to my mom, 'I guess I'm the black sheep of the family now.' And she said, 'No, you do a lot of good things too."

One of the more offensive scenes in the movie is the slavery scene, IMO, because it implies that the bad part about slavery is that it's embarrassing to white people and not that it's THE CRUEL SUBJUGATION OF OTHER HUMAN BEINGS. This is not surprising.

And they thank David Alan Grier, whose presence they believe gave them "cover" in the plantation scene. Friedman: "Even Sinbad turned us down." Zucker: "And Frank Caliendo. Again." Friedman: "We were going to put him in blackface."

Shit, you guys. [facepalm!]

Anyway, read the whole thing. It's something.
I forgot to tell you guys I saw Slumdog Millionaire the other day. Spoilers )
quietprofanity: (Rin - Witch Ogre Cow)
( Dec. 21st, 2008 04:17 pm)
[Mom decides to call me while watching Spider-Man 3, which she has not seen]

Mom: Blah blah blah ...

Me: Blah blah blah ...

Mom: [scream]

Me: What? What happened?

Mom: Where did the beam come from?

Me: The what?

Mom: Oh my God! What's happening?

Me: Oh, the movie ... Oh! You're talking about the crane!

Mom: Oh ... so the villain is The Crane?

Me: What? Mom, no. There's no villain named the crane. It's just a malfunction.

Mom: All these people are in trouble! It's like 9/11 or something ...

Me: Errr ...

Mom: Oh, this blonde ... she's toast. And then there's this guy just taking pictures! [sarcastic] That's very sensitive. Oh ... that's Topher Grace. So he's the bad guy, right?

Me: Yeah ...

(I should really visit her more often.)
Should have been called "The Couple Who Knew Too Much," really. Also ... I had trouble hearing a lot of this film. I'm not sure if it hasn't been kept well or it was a bad DVD. Probably the latter. I only paid a buck for it ...
But I think I need to see more Woody Allen films ...

This has been my life for the past two years. Except the actual attempts to kill myself part:

quietprofanity: (Default)
( Nov. 1st, 2008 07:26 pm)
I kind of like how you can just cut off the end of it and everybody knows what you're talking about.


Spoilers )
Hi again. I just wanted to tell you guys I'm glad some of you read and enjoyed my review. It was an interesting experiment to write for long hours when not at work. Difficult, but interesting. And I'd like to keep it up, if possible. (First NaNoWriMo, then I have an idea for starting a review series on this blog. Tentative title: "Is it Sexist?")

But anyhow, I wanted to share a few things I found during/recently related to the review.

- There is apparently a conservative commentator named Michael Malone.

- I really love Sarah Vowell's PopHistory, and hoped I was doing some PopLitCrit with what I did, albeit on a MUCH smaller scale. While wasting time writing the article I peeped out this awesome video. But I think this one is a little bit more relevant to our interests.

- I feel a little bad that while all of the Alastair Sim and George C. Scott Christmas Carols I've seen on my research, I have fond memories of A Muppet Christmas Carol. Norrie Epstein was really down on this movie in The Friendly Dickens. She called Michael Caine working with Kermit the Frog "depressing." I guess, but then again we ARE talking about the guy who passed up picking up his statue for Hannah & Her Sisters at the Oscars so he could be on the set of Jaws: The Revenge. The guy either doesn't have much pride or he loves to work no matter what.

Besides, A Muppet Christmas Carol is fascinating in that they REALLY seem to want to be as accurate to the spirit as possible. I mean, there's no Ignorance and Want and there are more jokes but ... sheesh, the songs are really "on" you know? This song actually really gets Scrooge's character. I mean, it talks about him being "mean" but it also gets that he's a bitter person because he's lonely, you know? And who would think of putting this in a comedy movie? It's like the religious/saccharine double-threat! ... But I admit I really like it and keep listening to it.

Not that it's all seriousness. Check this out.

- But I feel a little bad about inundating you with Christmas stuff on Halloween ... Eve. So have some Scary Silent Hill Nurses!


quietprofanity: (Default)


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