"You have 110 unread, 30 partially read books. Why don't you read them?" "But I want THAT ONE!"

[quietprofanity]

I went to Borders on a mission to get Touch Me, I'm Sick: The 52 Creepiest Love Songs You've Ever Heard. But despite the Inventory Search saying "Yes, we have it" a few days ago, someone must have bought it in between that time, so it was gone. And now I am sad.

Yeah, I know it's goofy to get bummed out because I missed the chance to buy a bathroom book but his FIRST bathroom book, I Hate Myself and Want to Die: The 52 Most Depressing Songs You've Ever Heard, was awesome and I regularly read it to friends and family and at some points even had people read it to ME when I was feeling under the weather. I looked for reviews for TMIS. Amazon reviews are all happy. Professional reviewers are happy. The blog reviews ... weren't. Then again, only one of them -- by a girl who adored the first book -- really felt like it had merit. The other two were like, "Oh, he's just a smug VH1 commentator," which I don't think he is, and "He said Tori Amos uses lyrics with too many references to hearts and butterflies. This is clearly thinly-veiled misogyny!" and ... um ... right. @_@

Now, despite my love for IHM&WTD, I have never actually listened to all the songs he listed straight through. This is because super-depressing songs have HUGELY bad affects on me. Listening to them for free while watching their YouTube videos is worse. Metallica's "One" isn't so bad when you're playing it on Gutiar Hero III. But I watched the video (OH GOD, DON'T CLICK!) and I felt bad for the rest of the day. I have heard quite a few by now (once I listened to clips of a lot of the songs), but generally I've tried to avoid them.

But I thought to myself, "Well, creepy love songs CAN'T be as bad as depressing songs. Why don't you find out about the songs before you read the book?"

[Six songs about stalkers and abusers later]

"Guh ... guh ... guh ... AAAAAARGH!!!"

I MEAN, WHAT THE FUCK?

OH GOD, I've never been in an abusive relationship and I think I've still been triggered.

Are they fucking crazy? Dude, I listened to Clay Aiken's "Invisible" after that and it felt like a palette cleanser.

Not even The Beatles are Safe! OH JOHN RINGO (GEORGE PAUL) NO!

... Okay, I kind of just wanted to make that joke.

Also, just as a general comment. I made a decision a long time ago that I don't like Eminem and I'd rather just ignore the guy. But Reynolds put Stan on the "creepy stalker song" list. I didn't hate it as much as I expected I would, but I kept hoping it would turn into "Thank You" by Dido, which was weird because I still haven't forgiven her since my dad's boyfriends parents played "White Flag" on repeat up and back from Vermont.

I later listened to the Egotistical (Love songs from the singer to themselves, I guess) and Oral Sex/Masturbation songs and they were a little less face melting, though.

LOL K-Fed. "You can't spend as much money as me!" Ha-ha-ha! :D

And ah, one of the I am sad because I am famous songs. It sort of reminds me of Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" because the tune is nice (and in Charlene's case, the singing is nice), but the message of the lyrics is disgusting (the "look at me! I'm a fake lesbian doing this to be cool!" aspect, not the kissing a girl part).

And Hah! Oral sex. (And lesbian oral sex ... I didn't get that the first time around.)

Bah. I need this book. Maybe I should just order it from Amazon.

Comments

[quietprofanity.livejournal.com]

I actually have a measure of respect for the song, because we don't have many "storytelling" songs these days. (I'll give props to "Stan" for that too, actually. Also for the intentional creepiness.) I still ... don't know if I love the video. It should be creepy, but the singing Kylie corpse is ... a little much.

And yeah, the books are total love. :D