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quietprofanity Nov. 13th, 2008 09:15 pm)
quietprofanity Nov. 13th, 2008 09:15 pm)... and never write it letters."
So ... The Old Kingdom/Abhorsen Trilogy ... I finished it sometime ago. Or I finished the important parts. I can't be bothered to read that Nicholas Sayre short story. And I'm not waiting for the one ... or is it two ... new books that will turn it into a Quartet or a Quintet or whatever.
Reading these books was a colossal disappointment. When I was 11 or something I picked out Sabriel, the first book in the series back when it was only a stand-alone book, from the library. I really enjoyed it at the time. It was about a young girl going on a quest and fighting the forces of the dead with the power of magic bells and she had a little cat and I was like, "This is groovypants! Yay strong women! Yay fantasy!"
Flash forward years later, my grandmother gave Sabriel, now turned into a trilogy with Lirael and Abhorsen, to my dad. Why she did this, I do not know. He read the first book and declared it a waste of time because magic is stupid and blah blah blah. And I was like, "Nooo! My lost youth! I must rediscover it!" and I took them from him ready to re-enjoy them and show Dad how wrong he is.
Yeaaaah, that didn't work out. And I'm really afraid of when I try to track down Winter of Fire now ...
I think I liked Sabriel so much back then because 1.) I was insistent on reading about female characters as a youngster, and was super-starved for the female characters I wanted to read, i.e. ones I wanted to be. And I wanted to travel through the countryside wielding unique powers and having awesome pets. Well, Sabriel totally has both. Magic bells that can awaken and control the dead! A magic cat that can turn into a monster but is still a MAGIC FUCKING CAT and every young girl loves cats, especially magic ones! A magic quest to save Dad ... who dies, and that's a bummer, but you get a vaguely hot guy in exchange and that doesn't really matter because MAGIC BELLS AND MAGIC FUCKING CAT!
Unfortunately, I read it again and it was a revelation ... the character was so easy to insert myself into because she didn't have one.
For that matter, neither did her boyfriend. Her cat, ironically enough, does, but I might be mistaking snark for a character trait. It didn't get any better with Lirael or Abhorsen, either. All of the characters were 1-dimensionally flat, propelled forward in the story by the virtue of a single-minded problem they had which they expressed by repeating it ad nauseum. Except for the magic dog, who was snarky.
I really do mean that about the characterization. I never actually felt any character's wants and needs.
This is the whole emotional trajectory of each book:
Sabriel:
Sabriel: My dad is in trouble and I need to find him. I wish people would stop calling me the Abhorsen. I am not the Abhorsen. Dad is the Abhorsen. I need to find Dad so he can be the Abhorsen again.
Mogget (the cat): You're the Abhorsen, now. Deal with it.
Sabriel: Am not. Also, I want the naked guy I found to love me, but he doesn't love me.
Touchstone (naked guy): I'm not worthy of anything!
Mogget: Humans are stupid.
(They find Dad. Evil thing attacks. Dad dies.)
Sabriel: I am the Abhorsen.
(Evil dad-killing thing attacks.)
Sabriel: I killed it. I can die now.
Ancestors: No, you can't.
Sabriel: Okay.
Lirael:
Lirael: I can't see into the future like all of my half-sisters, the Clayr. Also, they are blond and I have dark hair. This makes me sad.
Clayr: Yeah, you really suck that way. Why don't you work in the library to pass the time.
Lirael: Now I have a job I love. But I don't have the sight and I have dark hair and this makes me sad.
(Time passes. Lirael learns how to do magic and gets a magic dog.)
Lirael: I can do magic. And I have a magic dog. And I have a job I love. But I don't have the sight and I have dark hair and this makes me sad.
(Time passes. Lirael finds stuff in the library with her magic dog and learns she's the Rememberencer, i.e. someone super special.)
Lirael: I still don't have the sight. I'm still not blond. I'm still sad.
Clayr: By the way, you have a destiny. Go off and save the world.
Lirael: I don't have the sight and I have dark hair and this makes me sad.
(Meanwhile, over in the most boring subplot ever. Sabriel's son Sameth is attacked by the bad guy Necromancer.)
Sabriel: Son, become the Abhorsen.
Sameth: I can't. I'm too much of a wuss.
Ellimere (his sister): I'm going to be queen when our parents die. You be the Abhorsen.
Sameth: I can't. I'm too much of a wuss.
(Sameth learns his best friend is in trouble.)
Sameth: I must save him! But I can't be the Abhorsen. I'm too much of a wuss.
(Runs away.)
Mogget: Yo, I'm the magic cat. I just followed you and I have the bells. Stop being a wuss.
Sameth: Wuss ...
(Lirael and Sameth meet up and a bunch of stuff happens.)
Magic Beings: Lirael, you are the Abhorsen. Sameth, you have some other special job.
Sameth: AWESOME!
Lirael: I am sad because I will never have the sight.
Dog: OH, GET THE FUCK OVER IT!
Lirael: ... Okay.
Abhorsen:
Nicholas: I am evil. Or I am good. I am confused.
Lirael: I don't like fighting the evil guy. I feel not ready to be the Abhorsen. I wish I was back in the library.
Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!
Nicholas: I am evil. Or I am good. I am confused.
(Everyone thinks Sabriel is dead.)
Lirael: No, wait. I can be the Abhorsen now, it's cool.
Sameth: I kind of suck but I'm still glad I don't have your job.
Nicholas: I am evil. Or I am good. I am confused.
(Stuff happens.)
Nicholas: I am evil. Or I am good. I am confused. Now I'm good. Now I'm dead.
Sameth: I am sad.
Sabriel: I'm not actually dead.
Lirael: Oh, that's cool. I'll still sacrifice myself to fight the evil guys.
(Ends up only losing a hand in final battle.)
Dog: I've got to leave you now, see ya.
Lirael: No, I am sad.
Dog: It's cool, you'll get a magic hand with your two other titles. Later.
(I headdesk.)
The thing is, none of those trajectories are WRONG as character motivations. Some of them are some of my favorite tropes. Actually, evil best friend is possibly my favorite trope of all time. Especially when he's screeching in pain, trying so hard to FIGHT HIS EVIL SELF and REMEMBER WHO HE IS! It's one of the reasons I love Harry Osborn from Spider-Man so much. I can also relate to the, "I'm not who I WANT to be, but who I'm MEANT to be" story, but I just ... it's hard to specifically point out what's wrong with Nix's characterization, but it's there. I think him having his characters constantly repeat their central problem in their inner monologue is one of them. I think the fact that they don't seem to come to life aside from their central problem is another. (Sabriel in particular is Stoic McStonerson.) I think first person would have helped. Or at least lifting the ban that somehow only the magic animals are allowed to have a sense of humor. I don't really know.
Oh, and HOLY CRAP are the villains boring. If your heroes are going to suck, at least make your villains cool, but noooo, that would be work. Bah.
I mean, the world is cool. I even liked the idea of a non-magic world intersecting with the magic one, even if the scenes of the military in the non-magic world were boring. And I do like how the bells work:
Ranna - Go to sleep.
Mosrael - Makes zombies/Sends you to death.
Kibeth - Die more.
Dyrim - Talk/Shut up.
Belgaer - Brain suckage.
Saraneth - Do what I say.
Astarael - AAARGH! PANIC BUTTON! FUCKING KILL EVERYTHING!
Although, by the last book, they're only using Sarneth and Ranna, which totally sucks. Oh well.
I mean, don't get me wrong. The book is still totes better to read than Twilight, because it actually has girls doing stuff but ... yeah, this was disappointing.
So ... The Old Kingdom/Abhorsen Trilogy ... I finished it sometime ago. Or I finished the important parts. I can't be bothered to read that Nicholas Sayre short story. And I'm not waiting for the one ... or is it two ... new books that will turn it into a Quartet or a Quintet or whatever.
Reading these books was a colossal disappointment. When I was 11 or something I picked out Sabriel, the first book in the series back when it was only a stand-alone book, from the library. I really enjoyed it at the time. It was about a young girl going on a quest and fighting the forces of the dead with the power of magic bells and she had a little cat and I was like, "This is groovypants! Yay strong women! Yay fantasy!"
Flash forward years later, my grandmother gave Sabriel, now turned into a trilogy with Lirael and Abhorsen, to my dad. Why she did this, I do not know. He read the first book and declared it a waste of time because magic is stupid and blah blah blah. And I was like, "Nooo! My lost youth! I must rediscover it!" and I took them from him ready to re-enjoy them and show Dad how wrong he is.
Yeaaaah, that didn't work out. And I'm really afraid of when I try to track down Winter of Fire now ...
I think I liked Sabriel so much back then because 1.) I was insistent on reading about female characters as a youngster, and was super-starved for the female characters I wanted to read, i.e. ones I wanted to be. And I wanted to travel through the countryside wielding unique powers and having awesome pets. Well, Sabriel totally has both. Magic bells that can awaken and control the dead! A magic cat that can turn into a monster but is still a MAGIC FUCKING CAT and every young girl loves cats, especially magic ones! A magic quest to save Dad ... who dies, and that's a bummer, but you get a vaguely hot guy in exchange and that doesn't really matter because MAGIC BELLS AND MAGIC FUCKING CAT!
Unfortunately, I read it again and it was a revelation ... the character was so easy to insert myself into because she didn't have one.
For that matter, neither did her boyfriend. Her cat, ironically enough, does, but I might be mistaking snark for a character trait. It didn't get any better with Lirael or Abhorsen, either. All of the characters were 1-dimensionally flat, propelled forward in the story by the virtue of a single-minded problem they had which they expressed by repeating it ad nauseum. Except for the magic dog, who was snarky.
I really do mean that about the characterization. I never actually felt any character's wants and needs.
This is the whole emotional trajectory of each book:
Sabriel:
Sabriel: My dad is in trouble and I need to find him. I wish people would stop calling me the Abhorsen. I am not the Abhorsen. Dad is the Abhorsen. I need to find Dad so he can be the Abhorsen again.
Mogget (the cat): You're the Abhorsen, now. Deal with it.
Sabriel: Am not. Also, I want the naked guy I found to love me, but he doesn't love me.
Touchstone (naked guy): I'm not worthy of anything!
Mogget: Humans are stupid.
(They find Dad. Evil thing attacks. Dad dies.)
Sabriel: I am the Abhorsen.
(Evil dad-killing thing attacks.)
Sabriel: I killed it. I can die now.
Ancestors: No, you can't.
Sabriel: Okay.
Lirael:
Lirael: I can't see into the future like all of my half-sisters, the Clayr. Also, they are blond and I have dark hair. This makes me sad.
Clayr: Yeah, you really suck that way. Why don't you work in the library to pass the time.
Lirael: Now I have a job I love. But I don't have the sight and I have dark hair and this makes me sad.
(Time passes. Lirael learns how to do magic and gets a magic dog.)
Lirael: I can do magic. And I have a magic dog. And I have a job I love. But I don't have the sight and I have dark hair and this makes me sad.
(Time passes. Lirael finds stuff in the library with her magic dog and learns she's the Rememberencer, i.e. someone super special.)
Lirael: I still don't have the sight. I'm still not blond. I'm still sad.
Clayr: By the way, you have a destiny. Go off and save the world.
Lirael: I don't have the sight and I have dark hair and this makes me sad.
(Meanwhile, over in the most boring subplot ever. Sabriel's son Sameth is attacked by the bad guy Necromancer.)
Sabriel: Son, become the Abhorsen.
Sameth: I can't. I'm too much of a wuss.
Ellimere (his sister): I'm going to be queen when our parents die. You be the Abhorsen.
Sameth: I can't. I'm too much of a wuss.
(Sameth learns his best friend is in trouble.)
Sameth: I must save him! But I can't be the Abhorsen. I'm too much of a wuss.
(Runs away.)
Mogget: Yo, I'm the magic cat. I just followed you and I have the bells. Stop being a wuss.
Sameth: Wuss ...
(Lirael and Sameth meet up and a bunch of stuff happens.)
Magic Beings: Lirael, you are the Abhorsen. Sameth, you have some other special job.
Sameth: AWESOME!
Lirael: I am sad because I will never have the sight.
Dog: OH, GET THE FUCK OVER IT!
Lirael: ... Okay.
Abhorsen:
Nicholas: I am evil. Or I am good. I am confused.
Lirael: I don't like fighting the evil guy. I feel not ready to be the Abhorsen. I wish I was back in the library.
Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!
Nicholas: I am evil. Or I am good. I am confused.
(Everyone thinks Sabriel is dead.)
Lirael: No, wait. I can be the Abhorsen now, it's cool.
Sameth: I kind of suck but I'm still glad I don't have your job.
Nicholas: I am evil. Or I am good. I am confused.
(Stuff happens.)
Nicholas: I am evil. Or I am good. I am confused. Now I'm good. Now I'm dead.
Sameth: I am sad.
Sabriel: I'm not actually dead.
Lirael: Oh, that's cool. I'll still sacrifice myself to fight the evil guys.
(Ends up only losing a hand in final battle.)
Dog: I've got to leave you now, see ya.
Lirael: No, I am sad.
Dog: It's cool, you'll get a magic hand with your two other titles. Later.
(I headdesk.)
The thing is, none of those trajectories are WRONG as character motivations. Some of them are some of my favorite tropes. Actually, evil best friend is possibly my favorite trope of all time. Especially when he's screeching in pain, trying so hard to FIGHT HIS EVIL SELF and REMEMBER WHO HE IS! It's one of the reasons I love Harry Osborn from Spider-Man so much. I can also relate to the, "I'm not who I WANT to be, but who I'm MEANT to be" story, but I just ... it's hard to specifically point out what's wrong with Nix's characterization, but it's there. I think him having his characters constantly repeat their central problem in their inner monologue is one of them. I think the fact that they don't seem to come to life aside from their central problem is another. (Sabriel in particular is Stoic McStonerson.) I think first person would have helped. Or at least lifting the ban that somehow only the magic animals are allowed to have a sense of humor. I don't really know.
Oh, and HOLY CRAP are the villains boring. If your heroes are going to suck, at least make your villains cool, but noooo, that would be work. Bah.
I mean, the world is cool. I even liked the idea of a non-magic world intersecting with the magic one, even if the scenes of the military in the non-magic world were boring. And I do like how the bells work:
Ranna - Go to sleep.
Mosrael - Makes zombies/Sends you to death.
Kibeth - Die more.
Dyrim - Talk/Shut up.
Belgaer - Brain suckage.
Saraneth - Do what I say.
Astarael - AAARGH! PANIC BUTTON! FUCKING KILL EVERYTHING!
Although, by the last book, they're only using Sarneth and Ranna, which totally sucks. Oh well.
I mean, don't get me wrong. The book is still totes better to read than Twilight, because it actually has girls doing stuff but ... yeah, this was disappointing.
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