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I felt better today than I have in awhile. I got my work done, I did a good amount of my laundry (although I didn't iron), I studied some Torah. (Almost done with ReVisions, a feminist commentary book I'm reading on the Torah.) I felt a little icky when I also read The Girl's Guide to Absolutely Everything, which may as well be subtitled for me: "AND YOU'RE DOING EVERYTHING WRONG!!!!" But hey, it's the first step.
But best of all ... I went rock climbing for the first time today. I have three blisters on my hands and my forearm feels a bit sore, but I am so, so happy. My day-instructor was very nice and encouraging. Every time I pulled myself up a big length he would go, "Nice job!" and when I was stuck almost near the top near my last climb, and not wanting to go further, he kept telling me "Just a little more. I think you can do it!" in a way that never seemed false. I never did get to the top on the last climb -- I got caught in a place with bad footing for my short legs and my muscles just gave out after awhile, but he got me trying and going a bit farther than I would have gotten if I had stayed up there. (Although I did on the first and freakin' aced the second).
But it was more than just an awesome instructor. Since mid-to-late-summer of last year I've been plagued by back pain. I'm not sure what caused them ... moving boxes at my old job, working out excessively after doing nothing for so long, severe emotional stress ... I just remember my back felt sore, me thinking it would go away for a week and it sticking around for months. Going to a chiropractor helped, but I remember some days (usually when I was stressed out) weeping because the pain was so unbearable. And what was worse than the pain was my whole mental fear -- the voice in my head telling me, "You are 22 years old and this is going to stay with you FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE." And I kept thinking of a life where I wouldn't be able to do all the fun physical activities I liked doing ... and some points I would get so upset because I was afraid I would never get to ride a rollercoaster again.
But ... over time, I got better. Not fully cured -- sometimes my neck still hurts, but better. I think yoga may have helped. I remember one day starting out on the DVD, my back felt like Frida Kahlo's "broken column" painting, but I was telling myself, "If your old college roommate's mother with a debilitating neurological disease can do this, so can you!" And after I did it, I my back felt better. But yoga or not, I've been better.
And today ... despite all my fears ... I got to do something that I've wanted to do for YEARS. I used to look up at rock walls in malls or at Six Flags and wish I could do that. And now I have, even with lingering back pain.
This hasn't been one of the best days of my life or anything, but it's been one of the best in a long while. I'll be back when the blisters are gone.
But best of all ... I went rock climbing for the first time today. I have three blisters on my hands and my forearm feels a bit sore, but I am so, so happy. My day-instructor was very nice and encouraging. Every time I pulled myself up a big length he would go, "Nice job!" and when I was stuck almost near the top near my last climb, and not wanting to go further, he kept telling me "Just a little more. I think you can do it!" in a way that never seemed false. I never did get to the top on the last climb -- I got caught in a place with bad footing for my short legs and my muscles just gave out after awhile, but he got me trying and going a bit farther than I would have gotten if I had stayed up there. (Although I did on the first and freakin' aced the second).
But it was more than just an awesome instructor. Since mid-to-late-summer of last year I've been plagued by back pain. I'm not sure what caused them ... moving boxes at my old job, working out excessively after doing nothing for so long, severe emotional stress ... I just remember my back felt sore, me thinking it would go away for a week and it sticking around for months. Going to a chiropractor helped, but I remember some days (usually when I was stressed out) weeping because the pain was so unbearable. And what was worse than the pain was my whole mental fear -- the voice in my head telling me, "You are 22 years old and this is going to stay with you FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE." And I kept thinking of a life where I wouldn't be able to do all the fun physical activities I liked doing ... and some points I would get so upset because I was afraid I would never get to ride a rollercoaster again.
But ... over time, I got better. Not fully cured -- sometimes my neck still hurts, but better. I think yoga may have helped. I remember one day starting out on the DVD, my back felt like Frida Kahlo's "broken column" painting, but I was telling myself, "If your old college roommate's mother with a debilitating neurological disease can do this, so can you!" And after I did it, I my back felt better. But yoga or not, I've been better.
And today ... despite all my fears ... I got to do something that I've wanted to do for YEARS. I used to look up at rock walls in malls or at Six Flags and wish I could do that. And now I have, even with lingering back pain.
This hasn't been one of the best days of my life or anything, but it's been one of the best in a long while. I'll be back when the blisters are gone.
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