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From Househusband by Ad Hudler.
"My interest began months ago when I noticed the inequity of dust distribution in the house. Why did Violet's bedroom need dusting just once every three weeks when the master bedroom and living room developed a fuzzy coating in two day's time? Over weeks, I experimented, closing and opening different heating ducts, changing the cleaning agent from oil to a simple damp cloth. Did a room make its own dust or was it invaded by dust from another land? In the dustiest of rooms, I sealed with duct tape the cracks along the bottoms of the doors.
This past week, Violet and I spent an afternoon researching at the library, picking out both adult and children's books, then stopped by The Nature Company Store to buy a microscope. Our findings were fascinating. Thanks to constant air flow, every square mile of the planet contains at least one piece of dirt from every other square mile on the planet! The rooms with more fibers, from carpets and clothes, appear dustier because it is those fibers that act as the infrastructure, the framing, for the dust bunnies we see rolling across the floor like tumbleweeds. We discovered that the common dust ball has on average thirty-five different ingredients, mainly flakes of dead human skin and animal hair. Indeed, through a simple dust ball a family's identity can be revealed, its ethnicity and choice of food and clothing and pets."
Yeah, uh ... I'll just let that speak for itself. So far in this book there's been a lot of minutiae about cleaning a house, whining from the main character about his old job as a plant decorator because the rich people didn't UNDERSTAND how flowers really worked and one of his customers was pissed because he didn't do what she asked for and sneering at people who don't want to cook with "escarole and dried morel mushrooms, papayas, Stilton cheese and a naked baguette of sourdough bread." Also, I'm 30 pages in and there's been very little plot building or character building, his attempts at banter suck and there's been two recipes that involve me going to Asian markets.
I WILL NOT READ IT ANYMORE. NO. DON'T FLIP TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. BAD BECKY! PUT IT DOWN!
"My interest began months ago when I noticed the inequity of dust distribution in the house. Why did Violet's bedroom need dusting just once every three weeks when the master bedroom and living room developed a fuzzy coating in two day's time? Over weeks, I experimented, closing and opening different heating ducts, changing the cleaning agent from oil to a simple damp cloth. Did a room make its own dust or was it invaded by dust from another land? In the dustiest of rooms, I sealed with duct tape the cracks along the bottoms of the doors.
This past week, Violet and I spent an afternoon researching at the library, picking out both adult and children's books, then stopped by The Nature Company Store to buy a microscope. Our findings were fascinating. Thanks to constant air flow, every square mile of the planet contains at least one piece of dirt from every other square mile on the planet! The rooms with more fibers, from carpets and clothes, appear dustier because it is those fibers that act as the infrastructure, the framing, for the dust bunnies we see rolling across the floor like tumbleweeds. We discovered that the common dust ball has on average thirty-five different ingredients, mainly flakes of dead human skin and animal hair. Indeed, through a simple dust ball a family's identity can be revealed, its ethnicity and choice of food and clothing and pets."
Yeah, uh ... I'll just let that speak for itself. So far in this book there's been a lot of minutiae about cleaning a house, whining from the main character about his old job as a plant decorator because the rich people didn't UNDERSTAND how flowers really worked and one of his customers was pissed because he didn't do what she asked for and sneering at people who don't want to cook with "escarole and dried morel mushrooms, papayas, Stilton cheese and a naked baguette of sourdough bread." Also, I'm 30 pages in and there's been very little plot building or character building, his attempts at banter suck and there's been two recipes that involve me going to Asian markets.
I WILL NOT READ IT ANYMORE. NO. DON'T FLIP TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. BAD BECKY! PUT IT DOWN!
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