My Review of Monsters vs. Aliens by [ profile] quietprofanity's inner child.

Hello my name is Becky. I am 24 years old and do not have a job. Tonight I went to see a movie called Monsters vs. Aliens. It was about a lady named Susan who gets hit with a meteor that has some sort of green energy in it that makes her grow really, really tall. Unfortunately, this makes the U.S. government think she's a scary monster even though she's really nice. So they lock her up with a cockroach man, a fish man, a blob and a giant caterpillar, but even though they look funny they're all very nice, too. They think they're going to be locked up forever, but when an alien with four eyes and tentacles attacks the Earth, the monsters need to save the day.

I like this movie a lot. The movie posters don't say it, but Susan is a superhero. She has a superhero name: Ginormica. She's also a girl and there aren't many girl superheroes in the movies. It's like, Superman and Batman and Spider-Man have movies but Wonder Woman doesn't have a movie. Sometimes girls can be on teams, but it's not always that great. It's like X-Men has lots of girls but it's all about Wolverine, anyway. I saw Watchmen a little while ago and I really liked it but the girl had an actor who wasn't really good and stuff. Elektra, Catwoman and the Bride have movies, but they're not really heroes because they kill people.

Ginormica doesn't kill people. Ginormica thinks about people a lot. When she first grows tall, she doesn't want to be a superhero. She wants to marry her boyfriend and do whatever he wants to do even though it makes her feel bad because she wants to go to Paris instead. Why can't she go to Paris? It's just for two weeks? I don't think that's fair. And when she first sees the alien robot, she runs away because she's very scared. I know that doesn't sound very heroic but it gets better. When she's running away from the monster, a truck crashes on the Golden Gate Bridge. Oh no! But Ginormica comes to the rescue. She moves the truck, then starts fighting the monster, with a little help from her new friends, helps the cars get away. Then she kicks the robot's butt. YAY!

She does lots more heroic things in the movie. And while her friends, who are all boys, help her a lot, they don't help too much, you know? Sometimes boys in movies help girls too much. It's good for boys to help, but sometimes girls in movies need help ALL THE TIME. I don't like that. (Although I liked how in Watchmen the Owl-guy helped the girl take off her clothes. I mean, those clothes looked really uncomfortable. I wouldn't want to wear them for too long.)

But I'm talking about Monsters vs. Aliens right now. The moral of this movie is that you can be strong and even when your life doesn't turn out the way you like you can find something that's a lot better. Also, four great guy friends are much better than a mean boyfriend. I liked her guy friends a lot. The caterpillar was really cute. I think it would be really cool to have one but he's really huge so I couldn't keep him in the house. The Missing Link was nice. Dr. Cockroach was really cool because he was played by that guy who plays that mean doctor on TV. And B.O.B. was really, really funny. He made me laugh a lot because he's really stupid. He's played by Seth Rogen, who acts stupid a lot of times. Although in most movies he hangs around with men who don't wear pants, I think. Guys only took off their pants twice in this movie. And not around Seth Rogen.

I thought a lot of this movie was funny. There was a kid next to me who thought it was funny, too. But sometimes I think a lot of the jokes were kind of for grownups. Like when the President, who is also that guy on TV who pretends to be mean and stupid but everyone likes him anyway, comes to see the aliens he tries to say hi by playing music. I don't get it, but then another part of me was like, "Fuck, that was really funny" and I ... wait ... I don't say bad words like that. I ... WHO AM I? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

... Ack, excuse me.

Anyway, yeah, it's a really great sci-fi parody movie and a genuinely awesome superheroine story. Go see it. It's worth the price of admission for the gender-reversed "couple in a car sees a UFO and decides to investigate" scene alone.

From: [identity profile]

I hope I'll get to see it. I mean, that guy who plays the mean doctor on TV and and guy who pretends to be stupid and mean but everyone likes him anyway? Who would want to miss that!


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